Valentine’s Day Tips To Save Your Relationship & Change Your Life

by birtanpublished on August 23, 2020

Valentine's day tips to save your relationship for the years to come even if you're not in a relationship today's episode is not about your financial wealth only but about your wealth in general and while we need this type of wealth all year round why not

Use Valentine's Day as an excuse to get started with a new resolution my guest today is bart miller a very successful entrepreneur a husband and a father of four who also wears a hat as a life and relationship coach today we're going to

Talk about how to give a gift that transforms your relationship for the years to come what are the similarities between financial management and relationship management and how to not be lonely on Valentine's Day no matter

What your relationship status is because let's face it some of us may be in relationships but feel lonelier than ever before we get started please go down in the comment section and I'm just curious to know what was the worst gift

You've ever received on Valentine's Day it always the best gift you receive ever as we talk to bard you're going to understand why these were your best and worst gifts ever and how to make everything in your life better that

Rhyme if you haven't already make sure to subscribe to my new youtube channel and share these tips with anyone who needs to change their lives for the better let's go say hi

On my show this is something that we normally it's as different than what I normally do and I wanted to give people like an idea why I'm having you as a guest is because I had the privilege of meeting you and Nashville last week and

I had like we got to talking about women and moms and you know if you do Smeets your beautiful wife I'm like children and I'm like oh my god and your background is completely different that what I normally do but it was like oh my

God we kind of have there are some things that my people need to learn from you and that's why we have you today so before we get into the questions can you tell us a little bit about yourself on your background yeah sure so my

Background is I am really a poor little farm boy I live at denied hoe raised in Idaho which sounds really really crazy but I I grew up in Idaho and if anybody out there knows a little town called Arco Idaho which really is a tiny tiny

Little town that's where I was born and my mom and dad decided when I was younger that they did not love each other so they got a divorce and that really set me on a path of learning about relationships and also set me on a

Path of oh my gosh I really need to do something different than what my parents did in my life financially and in relationship into things and I don't know why but at a young age I ended up running away which was crazy and ended

Up living with my grandma and that was the best decision I could ever make but I didn't know it at the time I was honestly ten years old but that's what happened and my grandma raised me so I was able to learn so many amazing

Principles from such an older generation and bring him into this world of today and what I really learned about in relationships is this they're all based off most of them most of the problems that we have in relationships are based

Off of finance which something that you're amazing at and sex believe it or not which is Valentine's Day is what we always kind of relate to the more that we understand those two things as humans right just as humans

Period the more successful that we can be and then in my studies I really started to learn that there's two things when you start to run a business not just your family life but in business and that is marketing and finance

Are what rule right because if you can drive it and you can financially keep it sustainable you can't stop any business really that's the truth right and so then I also found out that if you don't have a

Great relationship and I don't care if that's with your business partner or with your personal partner that you're married to that also can destroy a business very very quickly and your empire so those are things I really

Started learn I've owned several companies sold several companies only been married once to an amazing life yeah and today is actually our anniversary believe it or not 25 years four kids three kids out of

The house one kids still in the house so life has been an adventure for me I feel like we've covered a lot of ground so I don't know if that gives you a little bit about me but there you go well one thing that you did not cover and I knew

Really wanted to touch base on is that you are fluent in Japanese so it is named so this man you won't be so many months in there so that's something we both have in common which is really like freaked us out when we were started

Talking and found this out but I actually lived in Japan for two years of my life and I was there as a missionary so live there served a mission there and loved every minute of it love like can't even tell you how much I love that

Culture such amazing humans and what an amazing language all right absolutely yeah that totally freaked us out so kind of bonded us as well so I'm today we want I wanted to cover with you about some of the things that people can maybe

Use as go-to kind of framework with the relationship especially now that Valentine's Day is around the corner and maybe some people are trying to sync think of something to do just a Valentine's Day but it's

Just about Valentin is like maybe this can be your new year resolution kind of thing for your relationship what is like one of the biggest tips that you give to anyone who's in any kind of relationship yeah so let's talk about that really

Quickly I think it's an exciting exciting thing to talk about and the one thing I'm gonna teach you I think might be different than you think and that is this actually to give you a story so one of my friends I was teaching him this

Principle and he was like not totally getting it so I give him a story and he did something that was amazing so I'm gonna tell his story so what I taught him was is don't give a gift that doesn't mean something and that's like

Everybody goes well I get that that's easy I mean so simple but this is what he said I want you to really sit down and think about a gift that means something that the only your companion would know that you knew would mean

Something he goes okay so we started going through a lot of questions and we come to find out that his significant other never was able to go to their prom so what they did what he did was he went rented a limousine

He went bought three different dresses put him on the bed he went got all of his friends organized to be able to throw a problem for her and then he went she came home got on his knee ask her to prom had the corsage

Is ready told her there were dresses in the other room to go change she instantly went changed he had a stylist there to get the hair done the makeup done gave her two hours to be ready to go

Walked out gotten limousine showed up at the air the the church that he had decorated and took her to her first prom with all of her friends now think about that as a gift will she ever forget that experience in

Her life now that's a big gift let's be clear I'm not saying you have to be that dramatic right I mean we're not all gonna be you know have something like that but think about the gift that's what I'm trying to get across to you

That's why I give you such a big example is that gift will impact that relationship forever forever now our tendency is is that we think about simple things of okay whatever our love language is is

Probably the kind of gift we're gonna give we don't even understand the love language of our significant other so therefore how can we gift in their love language right we don't go that far let alone think about the impact fulness of

The gift we're giving and if it's gonna keep on giving right but hey Valentine's Day why not impact our most important person in our life if we can't the right way so there's my tip do something up and beyond just buying

Flowers oh my god now I have to go rethink my I got my gift yesterday already I see good that's awesome anyway I hope that helps them out there so um so and this goes both ways for women and men oh absolutely

No doubt about it right I mean we're all humans and if I in my consulting work in the things I talk about the most I'll tell you the woman this woman had the most impact in the same on my entire career and I love her for it and you

Know all the Stella ti was Mary Kay Ash and it says she said every woman has a little sign around their neck or human for that matter this is making me feel important and if you understand that right there you can change the world and

I believe that and I believe that is exactly what you do I mean you are trying to impact the world by making women empowered feel more important in their relationships in their investing and what they stand for so many amazing

Principles and that's what we all got to do that's what our life is about and at this Valentine's Day come on our most important people are the people that we're spending that close-close time with and sometimes sleeping in the same

Bed with but if we're not making them feel important we're making a mistake so you made a point about you know finances and before we were talking about you said you mentioned that actually there are similarities between financial

Management and relationship management so what so can you tell us a little bit about that yeah so really interesting I find a lot of couples or people who are just starting out relationships run their relationship like they run

Finances so they're swiping the credit card and that means just for a quick hit they want it but they don't they don't worry about the consequence then it's gonna cost them in the future right it's like buy now pay later

Well I want you to think about what that does and I know it's kind of crazy thought process but what if you think about it like your bigger investment in bank account right we really start to say okay here's my banking and I when I

Put money in if it creates some interest or some goodwill eventually we know we may have to take some out right no matter what financial scenario we go to even if I'm looking for a retirement I'm trying to put as much ways I possibly

Can but if there's a rainy day which in all relationships I've never been in a relationship or seen a relationship right but there's not a little bit of a rainy day but if you have that goodwill there does it consume everything it

Doesn't it gives you that buffer that you've invested and you can take some back out and say you know what please forgive me I screwed up and or you have that and the same goes for you you're hoping that people are building an

Amazing bank account with you and investing in that right as true friends as true this that the other two where if they need to take out may make a mistake you're able to say oh my gosh look at all the amazing things that they've done

Are you kidding me I'm not gonna be frustrated over this right and I mean you teach so many principles on this that you could take this a million different directions I know I'm like my brain right now somebody work for you

Make a relationship work for you that I don't like all these that's true though really I mean you know and then think about this even a step further we just said the two things that destroy relationships are finances sex right so

If you're actually doing your principles and you think about what you're investing in that Plus you're making your financial and your think your relationships secure mind-blowing what you can do in a relationship but right

And I feel like one thing that you did mention before and when you say sex like intimacy part of sex is like what is I just want to clear that out yeah absolute like hey go have sex right yeah I mean if you do that's like the credit

Card right right example of a relationships that's most definitely sex relates back to a relationship and an intimacy part of that connection for sure so right right right nice it was them so yeah now I

Know that a lot of our audience are in relationships but many of them aren't and there is no way not to feel depressed and lonely on Valentine's Day of bender and sometimes like you're even fighting with your significant other on

Valentine's Day which is even crazier so do you have any remedies for people who are feeling depressed Valentine's Day you know this is so tough and I don't think I don't think in our lives any of us have not faced that

That day and it doesn't just have to be Valentine's Day that if you can hear that noise in the background so sorry my dog drinks like so loud apologize but anyway he's part of the family so he gets to be part of it so let's go back

To the topic but Valentine's Day and feeling lonely and filling so the number one thing that I want you to think about during Valentine's Day if you're by yourself number one don't stay by yourself worst thing you could possibly

Do go find somebody else this is the number one tip I get there's other people that are just like you go find them and become their best friend on Valentine's Day go do something enjoy the day go attend

Something with them be part of what they're doing because they're gonna have fun on valentine's day which is gonna lift your spirit the last thing you want to do is have a pity party just because you can right because we all do let's be

Clear like we start thinking about oh I wish so-and-so or I'm in a fight over this or in this without together and that just takes us down the wrong path in a relationship the last thing you want to do is start to beat yourself up

So that you're actually getting more negative then you are getting positive right so with the number one thing you can do in my opinion is go surround yourself with humans that are in the same scenario but not having a pity

Party and say let's go have fun together let's go make this Valentine's Day fun for you know for us today let's go do something fun right right and that doesn't include your ex who completely screwed you over I just wanted to have a

Disclaimer over tonight seriously so yeah and I mean once again there's always emotions that come around these type of things and relationships but remember today is today the days over in one day like

Literally it's over it's done with you're onto the next day you know it's funny how we base all this emotion off of one single day to turn around the next day and not it can be worried about it because we're upward

And onward so don't get caught up in one day of your life just remember that you know next year it could be a totally different year for you which it will be so think about positive find somebody else go out there do something fun and

Enjoy it that's what you can do like there's always somebody you love around you yeah I mean it's it's funny because like I feel like like you gotta be in that state of mind and it's just super super true and I know that sometimes

It's hard to do it on your own and that's why you do what you do which is coaching people yeah I say can you and I shall look at it couples on fire so I'm giving a lot of my secrets away right now how do you help couples and

Relationships yeah my biggest thing is is that I love couples that are already not not having necessarily issues in the relationship that's not what I just probably I shouldn't see my least-favorite but I feel for them right

When they're already down this path but I love people that are like okay once in a while we're doing this we're not always jagged I think how do we really go and light our spark like we had it when we were first married right and

Yeah exactly that's exactly if you can't believe you're so excited but anyway go back to that and then turn around and grow so the word at this level of like craziness right about each other because that's ultimately what you want but my

Favorite thing in doing that is just teaching people that is first of all it's possible now that doesn't mean you're never gonna have another fight again in your life let's be honest with each other but it gives you tools that

When you do have those different types of fights that you're able to combat them but also the biggest thing for me is and that is just one of our little pillars I really talk about Fitness a lot in our group

You know what's art once you're in my upper end group we talk about finance which is right up your alley we talk about finance Fitness fate and family those are the main things and the principles that I love to talk about any

One of those categories and what I feel like I can show you 25 years of marriage I can show you of you know doing bodybuilding competitions to cycling for years in the fitness world of how to achieve big goals how to work together

With your significant other because this is something that's really cool that I want you to think about who if you look at couples today right take couples who in internet marketing right now in our space what I call internet marketing who

Are the top leaders they're couples go take the real estate space take any one of the real estate categories who are the leaders couples go take network marketing huge group of people go look at all those companies who are the top

Of all those companies couples it's couples who are yoked together like two oxen pulling in a direction of unity and all of a sudden they conquer the world why honey because you've got somebody to lean on it's just like you said when

Crap hits the fan which you know what's going to and it does there's nothing better than somebody that can sit there that understand your true intent and your true heart that loves you and says it's gonna be okay

Right and that's actually absolutely fascinating because I've seen even in my group with investments and I have a huge group of you know moms and you know before I wasn't focusing really but I have a huge group but the ones who are

Actually doing the homeworks and do things so actually making it happen are the ones who are doing it together husband and wife they're actually going through my cores and they're studying it together and it's some sort of trust now

They know like okay what's happening and they even with my relationship with my husband I always kind of make fun of him as I oh my god his super risky but his risk appetite kind of balance is my risk averseness and we really totally bounce

Off I mean I am managing the investment portfolio but it bounced and it actually helps me become a better investment investors so I totally agree that in every category if you find somebody they can lean on yeah that's so

Awesome and I think that as we do that that's the interesting part in all the things that we do it's so much fun or when you're sitting at dinner if they understand a little bit about what we're talking about not that they should

Consume us but you know it doesn't and that's the other thing that I try to teach couples is it doesn't mean that we have to be in the exact same business right but if we understand each other's businesses enough enough just like you

Said he doesn't have to run the day to day investment he doesn't have to do all those things but it's super cool to be able to say certain things and be able to talk in certain languages and say this is what's going on and that's

Significant other looks at you and goes totally get it right sometimes I get a text from him it's like hey look at this stock I'm like oh oh thank you like completely like it totally it's totally awesome and one last thing and I know we

Kind of drifted to the couple thing but I know we did talk about not feeling long and lonely Valentines and I know that you're poaching your challenge that you just put up you were telling me that you can even take it if you're like on

Your own like even if you're super and other other doesn't join right yeah and the reason is that I know let me tell you there's two things in there that are very couple oriented so you'd want somebody you could talk to but the

Principles really go to any type of relationship I've had people use these tools with their kids I've had him use them with their business partners and I may actually had him use him more so believe it or not with their parents I

Find that a lot of humans struggle with their parents like it is crazy once they get in the course they start working on their relationship they'll sudden go oh my gosh if I could just fix my relationship with my mom or with my dad

How amazing would that really be and they start using these principles there which is crazy more than actually use them on their significant other because it's a relationship that means so much to them they've that they feel like

They've lost out on so if you're gonna take it and you're on your own remember we're very coupled DOM and I'm not gonna lie it's very couple but the principles like in this challenge right now I know

Of ten people but I'm very clear with them on you're probably gonna take two things from this right right now today but those two things will really affect your external like your family this type of stuff that you can use those in but

Once you get into my other stuff then there's all sorts of things for you right but ideally if I pick my exact target let's be very clear it's couples and where they're at today because that's that's what we talk about

That's what I love you know I love to see that you and your husband work together that's what that's what makes me so excited for you I love seeing your little one and that you know you have you have a part of everything that

You're doing as far as your tick-tocks go and it's that family's part of your really those right and so that that makes it exciting because you know that's where I feel like we're really here trying to do and trying to take it

And you know and when we want to build that so I think it's every mom's dream if you can't work dad's dream to be as much part of our kids lives as we possibly can and that's what you're trying to teach is that financial

Freedom so that they can have that opportunity to be able to not miss the basketball game the ballet but whatever it is and still be fulfilled in their marriage so anyway was awesome thank you so much Bart for

Joining us today people watching at home don't forget to comment tell us what you took away out of this awesome conversation and what you're gonna do for Valentine's Day I can't wait to hear it

Can't wait to hear myself thank you so much for having me it was an honor being on here my tradition all our guests make a silly face a silly face thank you for a silly place all right ready

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