The endless darkness of children’s music

by birtanpublished on July 2, 2020

everybody loves children's music it's

light and it's fun and it's educational

and it's a group of dinosaurs ripping

guitar solos in front of a bunch of

babies what heavy source are a finished

metal band that one of you wonderful

people tweeted me a few weeks ago they

are so so good so

this is a band who charted at number

three in their native Finland so this

isn't some gear this is just an this is

mainstream music for mainstream people

it seems only fitting that the country

that gave us finntroll would also offer

up Hesher dinos for children but heavy

soros aren't the weirdest music for kids

it is a wild and morbid world out there

I'm glad that I can ask you about things

that I don't know like when my body dies

I wonder where will I go oh where will I

go when I'm dead and gone where will I

go when I die Peter also definitely owns

the title for most unexpectedly direct

song for the little ones asking big

questions about mortality in the most

jaunty fashion imaginable

well that video picked up some use for

being disconcerting to some it's

actually much more aligned with the

tradition of children's songs than any

namby-pamby Wiggles not a number just

falling down falling down falling down

London Bridge is falling down my fair

lady one of the most popular

explanations for that delightful ditty

is that it is in fact about child

sacrifice in that game the kids play

where one of them gets trapped at the

end of the song is intended to mimic

being buried alive inside the bridge and

starving to death dope

maybe there's a kid song that isn't

secretly about death she'll be coming

round the mountain when she comes she'll

be coming

a mountain when she comes nope she'll be

coming around the mountain is a

whimsical twist on the old spiritual

when the chariot comes which is about

death like everything is driving that

chariot when she comes we'll be driving

that chariot when she comes I suppose

some songs are about the other thing

like the Chipmunks covering good girls

don't

Oh

to be honest I have no idea what heavy

sores are singing about but I can't

imagine it's that then again I would

have no idea

what was your favorite music as a kid

and if you have a kid now what's their

favorite music let me know in the

comments and be sure to subscribe for

new episodes of this exists every week

be excellent to each other

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