Starting a family with IUI after prostate cancer | My New Normal

published on July 17, 2020

We’re having our insemination today Yeah we feel pretty- I feel pretty nervous Ah so hopefully this is the conception of a baby Today’s day is about today but it’s also about a very long journey And that becomes quite prevalent when you’re in it today Yeah I was aware of Ben’s prostate cancer very early In fact before we’d even had sex Which to me was so refreshing and so admirable that Ben was having those conversations so early on because of how much it would affect me And it was just a no-brainer for me because

I had waited for you for such a long time And I knew that you were going to be the father of my kids And I didn’t care how that looked But you know then time goes on and the reality kicks in And you learn pretty quickly that this is going to be a pretty different and hard road Six years ago, I had prostate cancer when I was 36 I have to say it was found by accident It turned out that it was quite an aggressive cancer There are several treatment options

That are on the table at that time, having radioactive rods put in your prostate to treat it, radio therapy, or you could have your prostate removed which is called a radical prostatectomy I realise that this is going to inhibit my sexual function and will change how I have kids in the future That’s inevitable You won’t ejaculate anymore after you have your prostate removed, so if you want to have kids down the track it’s going to have to happen via these ways – IUI or IVF And at that

Time I was like, “I’ve got cancer, just get it out” You know, “I don’t want this in my body,” because it really does play on the mind Now we’re at a process where we’re looking to have kids and we’ve had several IUI attempts So IUI is in-uterine insemination Did you look that up before we did this? Ahh- Because I was- No I’m pretty sure it’s in-uterine insemination, I’m pretty sure that’s what it stands

For- In vitro? Maybe it’s in vitro in-uterine insemination Ha! It’s like a- it’s a turkey baster With medical help And there’s a lot of reasons that people need assistance with that but for us it’s because Ben’s sperm is frozen There’s no other way for us to get sperm, the sperm that was frozen after your diagnosis is the only sperm we have This is our fourth attempt

Ey, ey, ey, ey Be straightforward? I think so, I don’t know if- It could be as basic as sticking a pen into your stomach but you don’t know what you don’t know That’s why I wanted to be here just in case Just in case I need to take over Hello Hello Come on through It’s good to see you guys again It’s such a weird thing isn’t it – it’s

Like you want to know each other but then you don’t Nup, that’s right Because when you come back it’s like, “Oh hi Stacey, nice to hear from you” I’m like, “Is it?” (Laughs) I hate saying this – reality is it’s still only about 15 to 18 per cent per cycle that you’ve got a chance of getting pregnant to start with Yeah okay

When we add in extra drugs, there could be a slightly increased risk of multiples Sharps container for yourself and I’ll show you how to use that and some alcohol swabs Good Good Deep breath in You were just like, “Mm!” (Laughs) I don’t want it to seem like I’m an expert but I have done it before and it’s, it’s very hard-

You’ve mentioned that 17 times and I think you’ve done it once! The moment of insemination has become less and less special The first time- The edge has been taken off a little The first time is very exciting and the fact that we fell pregnant was like, “Woo!” I think as well because we did fall pregnant and we lost that baby as well- Yeah So there’s so many layers on top- Changed the experience

Yeah you are very aware of the hard parts of it too Yep You okay? Yeah (Sighs) So I’ll take you into the other room, we’ll do the procedure You remember how we do it? Like a pap smear? Yep Good Alright, let’s go

Oh, we’re in this room today Yes, this is the lucky room Alright then, you can pop yourself up there You get ready Stacey Cool And I’ll be back in a minute New room, new vibes How are you going? Good How do you feel, babe? Love you I love you too Did you feel uninvolved?

No, not at all I like to hold the sperm before we go in just to sort of reconnect I think the last time I was like nervous about whether it was going to happen and this time I still have those nerves but I’m more nervous about what’s it’s going to be like with a baby I have a lot of faith that we’re going to have kids through this IUI or IVF process if we end up going there And I believe we have a family energy in our home already This is what is meant to be for us

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