Prenup: Why You Need It EVEN IF You Don’t Have Money!

by birtanpublished on October 3, 2020

Prenup is a very touchy subject to bring up with your sweetheart and is often viewed as taboo and something that could drive the romance away right welcome to the investigam movement the place to be to take control of your financial future and to make your money work for you in this episode we talk about the importance of prenups and why women need to protect their assets you heard that right normally we hear the prenup discussion being initiated by men but my guest today argues that

Women should equally be the ones bringing it up even if they don't have any money at the start of the relationship i'll also reveal whether my husband and i sign the prenup before getting married we'll get into some celebrity prenup gossip and discuss whether or not you can sign a prenup after you get married my guest today is nas baruti a lawyer author entrepreneur media commentator and public speaker so basically right up the alley of the investiva movement

She is known in the legal world as the estate planning guru nas has been featured on news atlas like fox news radio bloomberg tv and usa today for legal commentary discussing topics like death divorce criminal prosecution of high profile figures you can currently hear her in los angeles on 6 70 a.m professional business hour i'm your host kena danielle and my mission is to help one million women start investing on their own by the year

2025 so if there is a woman in your life who could benefit from taking control of your financial future please spread the word the best place to start is learn.investiva.com for slash yes we're going to clean the intro and let's go welcome nice thank you so much for joining you're officially my first persian guest on the investigative movement so i'm super excited to have

You on thank you so much kiana i feel honored that i'm the first one yeah i mean it's kind of weird i've been on a lot of persian panels before and we have so many amazing persian women who are just rocking it but uh what might i think my producer i don't know it was the first the first time i was like yes of course like what do you think yes and like the topic i'm like yes prenups i know nothing about them and if i had brought it up when

I was getting married we probably wouldn't have got married because there is so much emotions involved and how do you bring it up like i feel like even if my husband had brought up prenups i wouldn't have married him even though i'm so savvy about finances and so now before we get into the how i want to know the why why is it important to get a prenup and do you think it's more important for women to get a prenup or is it does it go both ways well i think it's important to get a prenup because

If we look at the statistics 50 of marriages end up in divorce so it's it's inevitable that sometimes two people just don't work out and when you're talking about finances and dividing stuff or money when emotions are high it can get really complicated and i always say the biggest winners in a divorce are the attorneys it's not who's gonna take the most from the relationship it's the attorney that's gonna make the most money and so it's important to have these

Conversations beforehand and i actually believe that it preserves the romance instead of you know kind of giving you that yucky feeling but because there's always been a negative connotation attached to prenuptial agreements we have to kind of change the dialogue of how we um present it and do i think more women need to get it than men well the trend that i'm seeing is that women are getting married later in life and because of that they're working on their careers and

Some of them have become the breadwinners in the relationship or they make more and so i think it's crucial that they have these conversations the whole stereotype that it's a man that's kind of pushing this conversation has completely been eliminated most of my clients are women they they're coming into the relationships with more assets and i think it's crucial to protect that now is it split down the middle not always but i think the person that has more to

Lose kind of initiates that conversation right and what exactly is a prenup so let's say if we head into a marriage we have the potential of making a lot of money but we don't have that many assets does that require a prenup as well so in the united states there are certain states that are community property states meaning that california being one of them and i'm a lawyer in california the minute that you get married everything you earn and purchase together

Is considered community property meaning that if you separate it gets split 50 50. so there's an incentive in certain states to make sure that you get a prenuptial agreement the only thing prenuptial agreements cannot discuss is child support so you know when you when you enter into a marriage you have assets beforehand or you may not have any assets the both of you may be completely broke however you may be working on a project i see a lot of individuals that are in tech

You know they're they're broke they have no like they don't even have a penny to their name but they're working on an app for example and in the middle of the marriage it can take off and so sometimes they want to protect all the work that they've done up until that point and if that was before marriage you know they want to make sure if the the marriage doesn't work out you know they can walk away with what they've dedicated their life to so it's not always that you have to be very very wealthy to do a prenuptial

Agreement and sometimes couples are coming into the relationship with inheritance assets that their families have worked hard for and they want to kind of continue that legacy and make sure that it's it stays within the family so it's not always for rich people and i think that there's that misconception that you have to be a millionaire or a celebrity to have a prenuptial agreement and that's not the case that is very interesting to hear because yeah like that was my misconception like when my husband and i got married

We were not where we are today and i was like all right who cares but yeah both of us actually our careers took off after we got married and i'm like well it's probably gonna go like would have would it ha i mean knock on wood we're probably not gonna get a divorce but if we do like what would have a prenuptial agreement prevented us yeah so one of the biggest things that a prenuptial agreement can prevent is the concept of alimony or spousal

Support right so many people kind of want to clear that before entering in the into the partnership and i have a different mentality when i when i talk about relationships now whether that's for business or romantic i always feel that you need to have an exit strategy and that could be a little pessimistic but i think that it's better to have a plan going into any situation now that could have been prevented if if that situation arises of of how we're going to deal with alimony

Or we're going to have a set stream of alimony if you're going to stay at home and take care of kids or i'm going to stay at home and and put my career on the back burner you want to make sure that you kind of protect yourself it's not about this is mine that's yours and and we're not going to touch it i think that's another misconception women have is that this is actually a tool where you can negotiate and if you are going to put your career on hold and since women outlive men and we tend to be the

Caretakers of everyone in our lives you know our aging parents our children and so if there was a scenario where we have to put our careers on the back burner and we're not earning an income we n we need to negotiate that in our relationship that if you know everything hits the fan the you know i don't want to use a bad bad turn you can do it don't worry yeah it's a fan if she hits the fan then i need to make sure that i'm financially secure because i put my

Career on hold and i don't have a stream of income so you have to be responsible for that so it's it's it's negotiating that or if you do have a small asset before marriage and the value of that asset increases during the marriage you kind of want to you want to secure that as well and we can go into other details of you know and i don't want to be a debbie downer but most the time i see cheating clauses with with some celebrity cases that i've seen there's been

Rumors that there's been porky clauses meaning that if you don't if the woman has a baby and doesn't lose enough weight after the marriage like that can affect it you name it i've seen it or you know drug problems making or gambling problems and these are all red flags if you have to go into a relationship and have these things kind of um designated in an agreement then maybe you need to re-examine the person that you're

Choosing to take on as a partner oh my god the woman one was what what did i just hear oh my gosh there was a rumor that when jessica simpson was dating i think a baseball player or a football player that there was a rumor he wanted to include a a porky clause in the agreement these things sometimes are you know jessica simpson she is she has a net worth of uh like oh my gosh like she has a brand name she's got it together herself

Well did you hear when she did an interview i think it was on the dr oz show she didn't have a prenup with nick lachey and so during that divorce she was making more money and she said i wish i had signed a prenup because it hurt how much money i had to give him so it's not like you're not being money hungry when you're talking you're protecting your assets and it's not always the men that are giving money that's why i'm saying more women are having these conversations so that

I'm very glad that you brought up jessica simpson because she is my example when i talk about making your money work for you and i normally talk about let's say jessica simpson and let's say ariana grande i was talking about them last year i don't know where ariana grande is right now but jessica simpson i consider her wealthy because she doesn't have to sing another day of her life but her money is working for her and she's compounding her brand name everything is just in place

And she goes just she can just chill out and retire i had no idea about her personal life i should have dug into it before i think it's so important and she's a great example of having different streams of income with her shoe brand her clothing brand i mean everything that she's doing and maybe at that time she would she had a lot of like puppy eye love you know when it came to nick lachey i remember it was her first relationship she saved herself before marriage so her view

And her lens of what relationships were it was very naive and i think that relationship taught her a lot she had to pay a big big chunk of her estate for that but you know we live and learn and it's good to learn from other people's lessons and not actually experience it on our own so how would you recommend bringing it up like let's say there are a couple who they just got engaged during colbert and they're trying to get married and they're in love how do you bring it

Up you know i also i i believe that you shouldn't wait until you're engaged to have these conversations i think a pre the topic of a prenuptial agreement is kind of up there when it when you're talking about hey do you want kids what are your views on politics you know where do you want to live these are all important conversations and i think that we need to normalize having the conversation about one money because i think that we don't

Address that issue and it's kind of taboo and it's like tacky but i'm sorry money is a very important factor and i know many people say money doesn't buy happiness but it does buy a lot of stuff that takes and eliminates the stress in a relationship so that needs to be discussed in the dating and the courting period and you can kind of gauge by someone's reaction and i i think you can use a celebrity case like hey today i was i was listening to a podcast

Did you know jessica simpson had to pay this much money to nicolas j and just kind of feel you know their like view their body language see what the reaction is and you can kind of gauge how that person feels about that topic and you know sometimes clients don't do prenuptial agreements they get married and there's more at stake i don't i don't know if you remember when jeff bezos was separating from his wife they didn't have a prenup so she was entitled to everything half of everything for amazon

But when there were rumors that he was cheating they went back to the drawing board and they did a post-nup and i think that she used that cheating as leverage like look i can take you to court and i can probably take more than 50 percent so let's be civil about this and let's do a postnuptial agreement and figure it out so that the lawyers again are not the big winners that was exactly going to be my next question can we get a prenup post-marriage and i had not no idea that there is a post yeah there

Is a post not but again it's kind of it's more difficult to kind of force someone into that agreement when they when they already have you in that position of already being married so it's a little a little tougher to negotiate that you have to be civil uh it's interesting that jeff bezos is having an affair and at the same time he's being civil all right he had no choice good to know very interesting so and what i agree 100

With you and it's interesting that i talk about the importance of having the money talk with your family with your spouse with your children and personally for me because maybe because i'm persian i don't know i feel like among persians if it is even a little bit more taboo talking about prenups like i remember my sister was like if any guy ever brings up prenups like that's a red flag by next guy so i was like i was brought up with that kind of mentality and even

Though i'm all about like money and making money and how important it is prenup was the one thing that i have this belief system about that i just can't appear to i don't know to shake but at the same time when i think about my daughter and yeah i would want to protect her if she is getting married and if she has a potential so it definitely is something that you must do and so walk us through like what do you have to do in order to actually get

It do you just sit down together do you have to get a lawyer yeah so just something very quickly about the the our cultural background and and i agree with you culturally like we're not very prone to having these conversations however life was very different for our parents and being in another country and the stresses of life and the distractions and the options are very different when you kind of migrate to another country so you have to develop

With the changes in society and the environment so i think that's that's really really important i think that the young generation the professional generation is is getting more comfortable having these conversations so to start the process i always think that the couple needs to communicate with each other first what their goal is because what ends up happening is you have to have two separate attorneys so one attorney is drafting and representing let's say

Once one fiance and then another attorney is going to review the work of that attorney that drafts the document and then explains it to the other fiance but what ends up happening is that the attorney will draft something because they want to protect their client and then gives it to the other attorney and then the other attorney presents the information in a really like not sensitive way sometimes and then that fiance is furious and then

It causes a fight and then again the lawyers are happy because now they're going to be going back and forth and it's like billing on an hourly rate so i think that the couple needs to go to the drawing board and and discuss how do we feel about spousal support how do we feel about assets before marriage how do we feel about hey whatever we earn together we're going to split it 50 50.

If you guys have a solid plan like a foundation then the lawyers can turn it into legal words and i think it's better when the couple communicates with each other rather than i'm going to communicate with my attorney you communicate with your attorney and let them talk because it's like going through a divorce before even getting married yeah and so that never ends up being a good idea so i always tell my client look i'm not going to do this until you communicate with your fiance what it is that you guys want that is

Very sound advice and yeah i mean because otherwise it's good it's like you got you're going to feel like you are going through all the stress of what if and i'll draw all the negativity before you're even married and especially if you are engaged that is the period that a lot of fights happen anyway during planning the marriage yeah over cakes and stuff so oh my god yeah that was that was stressful and it's funny because like it has the image of being the

Honeymoon or like oh my god we're engaged i don't know maybe it was just me no we had a lot of lifestyle engagement it's a stressful time it's like your whole life is changing and you're merging two different worlds so i think that you should also give yourself enough time don't wait a month before the wedding i i i think that six months to a year should be put aside for this right i mean tell that to conservative persian dad who's like no you're not

Allowed to be together with that six months but yeah in the us it totally makes sense and i'm not even married to a persian guy so i'm just gonna i'm married to an australian guy so let's let's clear that away yes on a different level when it's a non-persian man so no but they have like i know that if i had my my husband is half italian have australian and italians are actually very similar oh yeah so many different things with persians they're loud they have

Like all these things all of it is like very very similar so yeah so it's not all persians you guys if any italians out there head over to the comment section let me know where you're from and now so tell us a little bit about your background like how did you end up in this specific field it's interesting because i was raised by a very hands-on father that kind of viewed me as a son and you know we talk about our culture

And how the parents are very protective and their helicopter parents my dad wasn't like that i mean at 17 when i was applying for colleges he was like i don't want you to like be close to home i want you to go far away so i grew up in southern california and then i i went to berkeley for college and it was just a complete culture shock i went to catholic school my whole life i was in suburbia so to be dropped off in the middle of berkeley and i had never visited the campus before it was

It was a hard transition but i raised myself very quickly and i was very independent and then from college i went to minnesota for law school and then that was another culture shock in itself so i had been on my own you know since i was 17 and my dad always stressed the importance of being financially independent i think that financial abuse is a huge huge thing when we talk about abuse in relationships we think

You know physical or mental but i think financial keeps a lot of women and men in relationships that they're not happy so that was like a huge thing for my dad for to teach me how to be independent and so i after law school i started my my law firm right away i didn't want to work for anybody else i focused on estate planning and family law and i just turned it into a really productive space for clients to come into and feel comfortable

And you know i've been doing that for 10 years and then i i decided to write a book for women i call it the legal bible for women on different stages of life how you can protect yourself based on cases that i i had seen during my 10 years and it's so hard dealing with attorneys and i just i i wanted to have a guide where it was easy to understand there was no bs and a woman could just pick it up and and understand the concepts and apply it to their lives

So i've been a huge advocate for women in protecting them and giving them the information and it's a goal of mine to teach women like you do and and other people your other other people in your audience how to be smart about money how money works how to have different streams of income how to protect it and it's just been an amazing ride that is so so so awesome i'm super glad that we got we're able to get you on the shine you

Guys i'm gonna drop a link to nas book in the description area here you definitely i'm gonna i'm gonna take a look at it because there's so many different aspects to when it comes to money and we talk about like the invest diva movement is all about taking control of your financial future women do outlive men like you want to be prepared for whatever it is that is going to happen even if you don't get a divorce something else could happen we don't want to be pessimistic but we want to be

Prepared so that we are not paralyzed with shock when hits the fan like that is literally what we're trying to do and the legal aspect of it is something that i've always struggled with i don't i came to america later in life so it's been only 10 years i have no idea about the legal aspects of things so i'm super glad that you've been on it and i'm super happy that we are able to get you to come on the showing us if

There is anything like some final thoughts they could leave us with before we i think that you know i think what we have learned during the pandemic is that the number one killer in the united states it's not necessarily covet or cancer or heart disease i think it's the lack of understanding about financial literacy and the importance of different streams of income so i think that americans in general

And if you look at our school system they're not implementing what we need to learn i mean they will teach you how to find an angle of a triangle but they won't teach you how the rule of 72 works or compound interest and so americans get on this hamster wheel of working paying off bills getting into debt and it's just they don't like before they know it they're they're retired and they don't have a penny to their name and they have to depend on social security or the government so my takeaway

Always is if you don't have a plan the government has one for you on the financial level and the legal level and you're not going to like it so you have to be proactive and have these uncomfortable conversations and get a plan together because you owe it to yourself and you owe it to your family beautiful thank you so much for being on the show you guys in the comments go ahead in the comment section and let me know will you be willing to ask for a prenup before getting married or if you're already married

For your children will you be asking for a prenup from your from the suitors of your children drop a comment below thank you so much naz for joining guys and you guys i'll see you in the next episode of the investigative movement you know as before i let you go we have a tradition with our guests that i asked for a silly face oh okay three two one do it

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