Nightmare burger metal

by birtanpublished on July 2, 2020

whenever I meet people on the street one

of the first questions they ask me is

Sam what's your favorite fast-food metal

band of all time

and I say you know the street is a weird

place

Burger King ads have always been weird

and not just non sequitur tim and eric'

knockoff garbage time weird but like do

you remember subservient Chicken still

unsettling so subservient Chicken was a

interactive website launched in 2004

where you type the commands at a chicken

man like sit or wave or pee like a dog

which was apparently one of the 300

commands that it knew all of which were

ultimately creepy is how the same agency

responsible for all of my nightmares

since 2004 in the name of selling

chicken fries ran multiple BK campaigns

in the weird heady Ott's

including the one that introduced cock

rock to the world

we all know how we work to get here

today we have earned this every single

record label in North America's turn

this down

yes cock rock it kind of glam sounding

metal band that looks a lot like that

other band that got really popular

around the same time with the masks the

coveralls

clown and the oil drum oh yeah

Slipknot this looks a whole lot like

Slipknot it also looked enough like

Slipknot to actual Slipknot that they

threatened to sue Burger King

for sure the best thing about that

lawsuit is that Burger King countered by

reminding Slipknot that a lot of other

bands of warm masks which is true and

cock rock rules

I have a not-so-secret bias here

literally the first episode of this

exist is about a hair metal band being

used to sell you unhealthy food we make

big comfort know where pizza power can

be

Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Hut Pizza Pizza

so the ill-advised Ninja Turtles Pizza

Hut Schilling metal experience was the

spiritual predecessor to cock rock but

who carries the flame today Mac Sabbath

Mac Sabbath aren't on anyone's payroll I

doubt the McDonald's would approve of

the way that they've manipulated that

grimace costume but like it or not they

are the reigning kings of fast-food rips

in case it's not clear they just turn

Black Sabbath songs into subversive ODEs

to pink slime food and

truly what do you think what fast-food

chain will be next to adopt metal band

as a marketing strategy and what will

their dumb name let us know you think in

the comments and be sure to subscribe

hey just going to butt in here for a

quick second from my home we shot this

video before we launched the patreon

campaign and honestly did not expect

that within a few days we would break a

thousand dollars a month and so I just

want to say thank you so much to

everyone who took time and took money to

support this show existing it means so

much to me and it means so much to

everyone who makes this show so a

sincere thank you and now back to the

professional-looking stuff that's not in

my house the episode the business every

week a reminder that we are back with a

brand new patreon campaign helping to

keep the literal lights on so if you

have a couple of dollars to spare and

you love this show check it out there's

a link in the description be excellent

to each other

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