Mothers and Daughters Ages 6 to 89: What Don’t You Discuss With Each Other? | Iris

published on July 2, 2020

you talk about a lot I don't like to

talk about money finances balancing the

books at home or any real struggles I

like to keep it picture us if possible

have lots of secrets about me I don't

tell my mom we're very open with our

kids I can't even say this because you

you're always very sensitive about this

ok I think what she's referring to is

the fact that I had some health problems

which I don't anymore it's not that it

was embarrassing but it's just some you

know just depressed is in the past

mmm and you recovered healthy yeah so

there's no need to bring it back I don't

talk to her about you know things within

my marriage better challenging I guess I

would say just like really deep

insecurities that I have and some of

those feelings that I have I'll kind of

like sugarcoat and I won't tell them

like the full feeling of that just

because yeah it's scary to talk about

you don't tell me a lot I don't tell her

what happened like kind of a really

rough time at work of course that

happens through any career and I just

have not ever like talked about the ins

and outs of that with you I think

because I feel like

I don't know it might scare you a little

bit and I don't want her to be scared of

working basically I feel like sometimes

I hide my grief from you because I'm

afraid that it'll make you upset so I

feel like a lot of times my sadness

whether it's having lost my dad or you

know anything in that vein I don't share

a hundred percent because it's hard for

me I'm sure I don't want to too much

because I don't want to cry but

something that I never would like to

talk to my daughter about is about my

relationship with her that it would mess

up a little bit her relationship with

Daddy and I write a lot to talk to her


I do not discuss things that come up

with her dad more likely if it's a

negative thing which of course there are

because you know it's relationship that

I draw the line there me and my mom

don't really go into the whys of

decisions that I make our she makes we

don't discuss dating that much yeah it's

weird like I'm single my parents both

never really asked any questions about

it they don't put any pressure on me

which maybe is good or bad I don't want

to project I did so I'm you know I look

at it that everybody's journey is

different and I want whoever gets to be

lucky enough to be with her to really

deserve her and I want her to choose

someone she really deserves because

marriage is not easy even when you pick

the right person and so I want her to be

very happy it'll it'll all life will

fall into place

it's just everyone as if we lived our

life backwards we wouldn't be nervous

about anything because we'd see the

outcome and then we live through the

problem so yeah we don't talk about

dating much more of some intimate

details of maybe my relationships don't

go that far and I don't think she's

never going to that extent either it's

just weird I talk what have mostly on

anything it basically anything there are

so many things in my life that I would

never tell cherish for good reason all

you know

Division of Family and child welfare

services i the partying is you know

angel here i think we've really grown

one another and together and separately

but i don't want to know about your sex

life and you don't know want to know

about mine well i've seen plenty of your

partners let's put it that way they were

always very nice and diverse and I

learned my secretary skills taking all

you know the messages for the various

guys who called I have a number of

female friends and I'm surprised that

they know as much as they do about their

daughter's sex life I know that might

sound strange to you Jessica but it is

amazing to me and I often get questions

about that there's a little bit of a

surprise that I don't go there I

actually I never did know I had to learn

about a the birds and the bees on the

street there you go sometimes I don't

share something with my mom until I know

that it's going to turn out to be

something I don't want her to worry and

I know she's going to worry given my

mom's history with depression I maybe

don't share the downs of my life as much

because it just didn't want to there's

always been things that a parent doesn't

share with their children you don't want

to hurt their feelings you don't feel

it's appropriate to talk about and most

of our life my husband and myself

whatever we thought the children should

know they knew there were parts of my

life I didn't share with her but overall

I shared a lot with my mom and she would

always cheer me up


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