Mom Wine Culture: Unexpected Financial Dangers of “Mommy Juice” | Sober Sis

by birtanpublished on September 26, 2020

Mom wine culture is something that is a little bit cool a little bit sassy i've been following a ton of videos on it on tik tok and i even duet with mom wine culture tick tocks and i find it kind of cool

The only problem that i personally have had with the mom wine culture has been the fact that a lot of moms are spending an average of 300 on wine thinking that this is going to make

Them relaxed and help them decompress after a very very busy day and to be honest i was falling for it as well but then i was like oh my god that money

Could be spent on investing but at the same time i was like uh well you want to treat yourself as well right it wasn't until i talked to jennifer couch who is my guest today

That i realized how much damage this wine culture can actually do to your day-to-day life so i actually thought jennifer deals with alcoholics and people who are really physically struggling with

Alcohol but to my surprise she actually isn't even though she is the leader of the sober cis tribe she helps women and moms become more sober minded about their relationship

With wine and alcohol so i'm super excited to have her here we're gonna cue in the intro and while we do that i would love to hear from you what is your relationship with wine right now head over to the comment

Section and let me know and let's go say hi to jennifer welcome jennifer i'm super excited to have you today

On the invest diva movement and your relationship with wine and alcohol i had completely different idea of what you did when i first heard of you you were about sober cysts and i thought they actually

Help women who are struggling with alcohol addiction but to my surprise that's not what you do you actually help people like me who just

Drink wine on a day-to-day basis just to forget about things that are going on in their day with the life and with the kids and the pandemic and all that so so excited to have you here

We're gonna dive into how you help moms with their relationship with wine and alcohol but first i really wanted to hear your story and you're gonna have a birthday in a week but i'm not

Gonna give away your age but if you want you can can you tell us how this even got started how did sober says get started oh my gosh i would love to tell you the

Story and i'll make it concise but i just appreciate the opportunity to share so i will say my age i'm in my late 40s back almost out of my 40s so i'm going to stay in the 40s while i can

And i found myself really if i can rewind my life a little bit in my 30s as a young mom i was doing some network marketing doing some work outside of the home in the evening so i was a stay-at-home mom by

Day but working out of my home in the evenings building business and i found myself at a lot of happy hours and that's when i really started kind of

My relationship with drinking on a more just you know habitual basis because there was always a happy hour always a networking event book club there was just so many things and i really found that it was also an

Activity for my husband and i like let's go grab a drink let's find a nice patio and so it started to become really something that i was really looking forward to

At the like you said at the end of a long day it was kind of my time it was kind of my reward actually i looked at drinking like me time self-care i mean there's even emojis about women

You know drinking wine in the bathtub that was me and so i just really found that it was something that was becoming really a habit in my life and something that i was feeling where i was really living almost on

Autopilot like it's five o'clock it's one o'clock that's what i do i start dinner and pour a glass of wine but what i started to find was one class was good but two glasses was better

And i really just started finding myself kind of pining away like is it five o'clock yet and you know for me i'm real health conscious i'm i'm a yogini i did hot yoga today

I drink my green juice literally i'm like a juicer and i was doing all these really like mindful healthy things by day totally mindful but i was checking out at night kind of numbing

Out and just being mindless kind of mindless sipping if you will and so um but again not a big problem in my 30s it seemed like everyone was doing it

It was really in my young 40s that i started to feel a little bit of the hamster wheel by then i had teenagers and that was extremely stressful and a lot of anxiety of just you know

Raising kids today and raising teenagers today so i started finding myself in what i've started calling the detox just to retox loop and so i'm working out by day i'm like doing all these

Things and then at night i just feel like i'm retoxing my body you know drinking drinking two three four sometimes glasses of wine over an entire evening easy to do in fact i

Didn't know how common it was to even be able to polish off a bottle of wine i mean it's kind of like a reward you're like oh my god i worked so hard okay this is my reward yeah i worked out

So and and i just didn't realize to be honest i just didn't realize the science behind alcohol and how it's affecting my mood my body my sleep oh my goodness i had no idea that

Everyone was probably waking up at 3 a.m i thought it was just me and so really age 40 to 45. i'm in the major mom zone of raising teenagers and i'm finding myself just kind of

You know doing my day and then my night kind of shifting into let me kind of back up out of my own life let me kind of decompress and what i found was i started losing a

Little bit of presence in my life because alcohol not only does it take the edge off it kind of creates an edge as well because it creates a desire for more of itself

And it actually creates more anxiety which i had no idea i thought i was literally taking the edge off and what i was doing was creating a bigger desire for it the very next day and so yeah i could go

Without drinking it wasn't like i was physically addicted i don't consider myself an alcoholic i've not been to an aaa meeting although i think those are great resources but that just didn't fit where

I was i was somewhere on the drinking spectrum kind of in the gray area where i could quit if i wanted to i wasn't physically addicted but i was definitely becoming

Mentally emotionally kind of addicted and you know where i could i could go without it but when i did i felt kind of miserable kind of deprived kind of left out socially speaking

All of my friends dream my husband dreams how in the world was i going to change this habit unless i had some new tools so that's basically what i started a journey on about three years

Ago i really instead of just taking another break doing a juice cleanse like i'd always done in a whole 30 and i could i could set down alcohol for a period of

Time but like i said i always felt kind of lame without it and so this time i took a break but i decided to learn everything i could about mindset habits how alcohol affects women in particular and just really the marketing and

Messaging to women and moms about wine o'clock in the wine memes and it changed my life i really did i embarked on my own personal journey and sober sis was born out of that journey

So you still drink actually this is what i say i drink what i want when i want i just so happen to be living an alcohol-free lifestyle and i really like saying that

Because i really do feel like you know what if i want to drink i really can i don't feel like it's something i can't do i feel like it's something that i don't see

Value in doing it's almost like i've looked behind the curtain it's like i've seen the wizard you know in the wizard of oz and now i see alcohol so differently because i can kind of play the movie forward and

See how it will affect my night's sleep how it does affect my energy how it does take away presence in my own life that's why i like to say i'm sober minded versus the difference between sober minded and sober like

As you were saying like oh my god that's exactly what it is so that's the mindset where you have first of all i couldn't agree with you more i am such a light drinker i'm such a cheap date like even the tiny bit

I am and i have always have been even like this much of wine gets me and then immediately after that my sleep gets impacted and i wake up in the middle of the night and my week is actually ruined so i couldn't

Agree with you more and it's interesting because during the pandemic my husband was here my mom and dad were here and my husband was like let's drink and every night that became our habit and

It became a tradition it became a culture and if you didn't drink you weren't a part of a family kind of so we were just drinking every night and that's what what you were saying kind of really resonated with me and

Then you see all these memes on the internet and it's kind of like a cool thing but you know i'm a mom i'm cool i'm having my wine and what you're saying is that if it's not getting you and completely

Mess your brain and and mood up now when you're relatively younger as you hit 40 50 i don't know 60 it's gonna get harder and harder to overcome i i'm assuming

Oh for sure for sure you know really when i started drinking i drank less and got more of the effect the longer i kept just drinking in the drinking culture that we live in

The more tolerance i naturally built and when you build tolerance you also build a little bit of dependency that's just kind of the nature of how a lot of substances work and again i it was just so interesting to me

To think that i could actually change my relationship with drinking not because things were so bad but because things were not good enough

And i think that's a very empowering healthy way to look at drinking not do i need to get worse to then change my relationship with alcohol let me get further down the spectrum so

That i have to quit what if we chose to again even just cutting down reigning it in being more mindful being more educated as to what's what we're putting in our

Bodies and just the mom culture the mom juice culture is so prevalent you know i'm an older mom i say that in air quotes you know where when my kids were younger it really wasn't as prevalent as it is

In today's society you really wouldn't see mimosas at a 10 a.m tuesday morning play group you wouldn't have met a friend at the park with wine in your

Yeti at 3 p.m now that's really normal in a lot of mom's circles that's socially acceptable because hey let's face it being a mom is is hard work

And so it's very tied into the messaging of kind of you deserve it you know it'll just make you more chill more chillax with your kids when really what it does is it takes us

Away from being in the present moment and being kind of awake and alert and aware in our own lives so what the way you were talking i actually really love it and how you mentioned that this is different than

Let's say aaa because that has a stigma attached to like i wouldn't want to go to like what would that say about me right can you tell me a little bit like what does service like what do you do

With store services and yeah it's like a mom's group how exactly does it work it really kind of is it's like a sisterhood we call it sober system it's really short for sober-minded sisters but sober says is

My instagram handle because it's short and easy to remember so i'm at sobersis but i really like to call us a sober-minded sisterhood so i run a monthly challenge

It's just a challenge where i call it a reset really where women can sign up for 21 days it's not saying always or forever we don't even use those words in our tribe

And we call ourselves a tribe right it's like sisterhood right you're kind of getting getting that oh no no i totally get it we have the invest diva tribe here going on oh yeah everybody yeah i love it yeah

We're definitely like a truck and it's like i got your batgirl you got mine we're in this together and we're like-minded in the sense that we want to pursue being our best self the best version of

Ourself and not let anything um alter or hijack our minds from being the best we can be so that's that's the overall overarching goal but under that umbrella people are cutting down some are

Moderating just becoming more mindful in their relationship with drinking some people are like oh jen i feel so much better without it i really do want to pursue

This alcohol free lifestyle a little longer so i run this 21 day reset challenge at the beginning of every month hundreds of women go through it they do it together almost like a pledge class

Where it's like we're june you know 2020 sober sis and you know we welcome them into our closed facebook group where you know members only see members so again

Just even the word sober sis can attach a little bit of confusion or stereotype which is so great that you're open to me explaining more of what we're doing and then they come in and then it's just support it's just a

Lot of acceptance for wherever you are in the journey no labels which i love no labels no judgment there's no shame it's like i get it girl i just drink three glasses of wine last night too and i didn't even really want to

But i kind of did and i don't know what to do with that mental tug-of-war back and forth like i want to and i don't want to and so we we have space to talk about that

Without rules or saying forever or always people don't get into sober cysts and say i'm never gonna drink again they get into sober sets and say i never want to look at alcohol the same again and that i can promise

Wow so you basically really dive deep down in the mindset and help because the mindset it's developed by the habits and it doesn't happen overnight even if you say never and i understand if you

Say never or ever or always that is just a wishful thinking that you're not makes you almost want to do it more yeah no 100 yeah yeah yeah so we talk a lot about

Mindset science practical tools how to deal with cravings how to be more in control versus being controlled and i think that that's really empowering i think as women and as moms it's

So in line with this empowerment and i love the name of your organization you know and that's diva it's like stand up and be present in your own life and that's very much the vibe of our tribe as well and what

Can we what can we take out of our way that's dulling us that's taken our spark away are our drive to really show up and show up for our

Families show up our kids and ultimately really show up for ourselves first and foremost so i guess we can actually borrow some of your mindset stuff for our tribe because

What you said right now because you just said you want to be in control that's exactly what i i teach people how to become in control of their finances and that has a lot to do with your mindset because a lot of people like oh

My god investigate math has nothing to do with math has nothing to do with the level of your smart it only has to do with your emotions how in control you are and of course you have to be educated

About money it really at the end of the day goes back to your mindset and how in control you are with your impulse shopping impulse doing vegetables doing that it all comes down together so that's why

I was super excited to have you on the show today you guys jennifer she's awesome it's i'm just super excited to actually go and check out that 21 day challenge don't i mean does

Anybody like is anyone welcome like if i drink this much per night can i still come yeah is there like a limit no i have women they just want to learn about their relationship with alcohol

More out of curiosity than being you know drawing big lines in the sand so i have women joined that have even been alcohol free for a while and they're just looking for more

Like-minded friends and support i have people just like you who just are curious about their relationship with alcohol and we have space for that versus going oh yeah

I'm really suffering over here you can just come in as just how can i better myself how can i become more healthy in this area of my life it's awesome absolutely that is super cool you guys i'm going to add

A link to sober's challenge in the description area definitely go check it out and also i'd love to hear from you guys what is your relationship with alcohol and how did it change

Over the pandemic i would love to know that go ahead in the comment section and let us know follow jennifer on her social media like and share this video with anyone who is curious about alcohol and

Would like to get into a better mindset about it and i'll see you guys in the next video thank you so much jennifer bye thank you all right awesome we have a tradition

I asked all my guests to make a silly face three oh yeah i know you're sober but i do mean like right now yep three two one you know you see i can see that i can

See the breeze oh versus sorry jamie can you see me now like where can i go man we're gonna go yes so fun

you

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