Joe Biden Solutions the Internet’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED

published on July 2, 2020

– I'm Joe Biden

This is the Wired Autocomplete
Interview I'm about to do

[upbeat music]

– [Interviewer] Have you
ever Googled yourself before?

– No, I try not to

[upbeat music]

First card here

Is Joe Biden a Democrat or Republican?

What a silly question, man

What else would you be but a Democrat

I'd have to change my name
if I weren't a Democrat

My grandfather Finny would
come back from his grave

All right, is Joe Biden
running for President?

Yes, I am

I'm running for President

Is Joe Biden going to win?

As my grandfather would say,

the grace of God, the
goodwill of the neighbors,

and the crick not rising,
yes, I'm gonna win


Is Joe Biden a billionaire?

Unfortunately, I'm not


Is Joe Biden religious?

I do not proselytize but I'm
a practicing Catholic, yes

Is Joe Biden Irish?


My mom's side 100% Irish and
my dad's side half Irish

We don't admit to the other part

Is Joe Biden in "Parks & Rec?"

Yes, I was in "Parks & Rec"

As long as I didn't have
to do anything other than

play myself, I said I'd do it

Met a lot of good people

Is Joe Biden left handed?

No, that's why I'm having
trouble pulling these off

with my left hand

Is Joe Biden a vegan?

No, Joe Biden's not a vegan,

although my wife is pushing me

Most of the meals I eat, quite
frankly, don't have meat

A lot of chicken, a fair amount of fish,

I'm big on ice cream

And that puts me in real
trouble, you know what I mean?

So after all these years,
it's very disappointing

to be known for two things

My Ray Bans and ice cream

It's pretty dull

Okay, does Joe Biden have a brother?

I'm lucky, I have two younger brothers

I'm the oldest of three
and I've got a sister

who's the love of my life

Does Joe Biden have a dog?

I have two dogs

I have two German shepherds, one I got

when I got named Vice President

of the United States by Barack

It was bribery on the part of my family,

they said if you agree,
we'll get you a dog again

So I have a dog named Champ,
he's getting to be an old guy

And to keep him young, we
went out and got another dog

from the rescue center
and his name is Major

Does Joe Biden have a law degree?

Yes I do

I have a law degree
from Syracuse University

and I practiced law for
a while here in Delaware

Did Joe Biden ever serve in the military?

No, I haven't but we're a military family

My son, Beau, served in the military

Passed away, spent a year in Iraq,

won the Bronze Star,
Conspicuous Service medal,

and a number of other accommodations

Did Joe Biden ever have a job?


Yeah, I've had a job

I used to be a lifeguard for years

and when I ran for the United
States Senate, they said,

"Why do you want a 29 year-old guy

"who's only been a lifeguard?"

Well the truth was I
was a practicing lawyer

I'd been a public defender and
I had my own small law firm

But I got elected when I was 29

and then I had another job,
although I guess people

don't consider being a Senator a job

But that was my other job

Did I go to college?

Yes, I did go to college

I went to the University of Delaware

and I enjoyed it, it's a great school

That's where my sister went,
and my brothers as well

I had two majors, I majored in
History and Political Science

and had a minor in English

Did Joe Biden used to be a Republican


Never, never, never

But I tell you what, it did happen,

when I came back to
Delaware from law school,

my city was occupied by the National Guard

because of the fact that Dr
King had been assassinated

The Democratic party at the
time was much more conservative

than the Republican party,
so I couldn't bring myself

to register as a Republican
because I wasn't big

on Richard Nixon and I
registered as an Independent

But shortly thereafter, I helped
change the Democratic party

to be a mainstream Democratic party

It was a fairly conservative
party when I first got back

Can Joe Biden–

this oughta be good–

play sports?


I told my son when I died,
I wanted only four words

Father, son, brother, athlete

I was a pretty good
athlete in high school,

played a little bit in college,
played football and baseball

in a couple leagues when
I got out of school

Yes, I love sports

Can Joe Biden eat ice cream?

Well some people think that's
all I do is eat ice cream

You know, my mom, when my dad passed away,

she moved in with us reluctantly because

she wanted her independence
and I'd stop and see her

before I'd go upstairs

and my wife would say,

"You've been with your mother,
I can smell ice cream"


Anyway, the point is I love
ice cream, always have

My favorite, by the
way, is chocolate chip

Can Joe Biden yell?

Well I don't yell very much

I can yell

when I'm cheering for my
kids and my granddaughters,

they're good athletes but that's about it

Was Joe Biden a Vice President?

Yes, I was

I served with a great guy, Barack Obama

It was one of the great honors of my life

He's a man of significant
integrity and I

One of the best things I ever did

Was Joe Biden in a fraternity?

No, I never joined a fraternity

Was Joe Biden an actor?

You can tell by this, no,
Joe Biden's not an actor

I'm not very good at
playing anything but myself

I used to be a very bad
stutterer when I was a kid

and all through high school

That wasn't the reason I wasn't an actor,

but I've always felt self-conscious

about trying to be
something that I wasn't

And acting requires you
to be able to do that


What is Joe Biden's immigration policy?

Keep families together

Immigration built this country

We're all, with the exception
with the original sin

of slavery, we are all immigrants

It's the reason why we're
the great country we are

We've been able to cherry
pick the best of every culture

in the world

For someone to come here like
my great-great-grandfather

getting on a coffin ship in the Irish Sea,

back in 1848, it took
courage, it took optimism,

it took determination

That's why we're who we are

We're a nation of
immigrants and proud of it

What is Joe Biden's

plan for improving the economy?

You know, there used to be
a basic bargain in America

If you contributed to the
wellbeing and the operation

you worked for, you got
to share in the benefits

That's changed in the last 20 years

because of corporate
greed, because of a range

of other things, and
because of particularly now

in this administration, the
way in which it doesn't take

care of people who bust their neck

My dad used to say

everyone, everyone is entitled
to be treated with dignity

And how can you have dignity
if you're working 40 hours

a week and you can't afford healthcare?

You can't afford to take
care of your children,

you can't afford housing

That's the reason I'm
running for President,

because I'm gonna change that

We're gonna rebuild the middle class

and this time, bring everybody along

What is Joe Biden's view on education?

My wife, Jill, has a great expression

She's a doctor of education
and she's been a teacher

for years and she'd say

any country that out educates
us will out compete us

And so that's why I
strongly believe we should

at both ends of the spectrum change it

so that every child, three,
four, and five years old

can go to school

School, not daycare


And all the studies show
that increases exponentially

their chance at success

And at the other end of it, we should have

free community college

Free college for

four years of college
of a state university

if you come from a family
making less than $125,000

And we should be investing
in apprenticeships

across the board

We can do anything when
we put our minds to it

What is Joe Biden saying about


Obviously the President
didn't learn anything from

being impeached and not convicted

The reason he got impeached
was he went to another country

to ask them to get involved
in our political process,

which is an impeachable offense

He got impeached but then
Republican Senate refused,

even though some acknowledged
he did what he said,

that it didn't warrant
being kicked out of office

We are really not following
the law very well these days

What's Joe Biden's stance on gun control?

Number one, assault weapons
are weapons of death

They have no rationale for
being owned by individuals

on the street

They should be outlawed

They were eliminated, they came back

We had a 10 year elimination of them

From the very beginning,
you weren't allowed

to have certain weapons

You weren't allowed to own a cannon

during the Revolutionary
War as an individual

Anybody think you should be able to go out

and have a machine gun these days

And the answer is no, we
have a rational policy

No amendment to the
Constitution is absolute

Secondly, everyone should have
a universal background check

in order to determine
whether they're capable

of owning a weapon

Whether they should own a weapon


Why is Joe Biden

running for President?

I'm running for President
for three reasons

One, to restore the soul of this country

This president started off dividing us

based on race, religion, ethnicity

One of the reasons I
decided to run this time,

I hadn't planned on it, was
what happened in Charlottesville

when those folks came out of
the woods carrying torches,

carrying swastikas, and then
when a young woman was killed,

he was asked to comment and he said

there were fine people on both sides

No president has ever
said anything like that

We have to restore the
soul of this country

We the people

We hold these truths to be self-evident

He's walked away from that

The second reason I'm
running is to restore

the backbone of this
country, the middle class

And this time bring everybody along

Black, white, all colors, all backgrounds,

men, women, gay, straight

Everyone, everyone deserves a shot

And the third reason I'm
running is to unite the country

This is not who we are

We're better than this

We're better than what we have now

and the American people I think know that

why is Joe Biden a good candidate?

Well I've always said when I
won the first time as a kid

running for the Senate at 29,

people would come along and say,

"What's the secret?"

Like there had to be a
secret if I won at that age

I'd say,

"Look, if you're gonna run for office,

"figure out what you're
willing to lose over

"Say what you mean, mean what you say,

"and don't rationalize

"Tell the truth and let the
cards fall where they may"

Why would you want the
job unless you did that?

Why is Joe Biden a Democrat?

Because we start off with the proposition

that anybody given a half a chance

has the capacity to do anything

But they need a chance

It's all about having a chance

My dad used to say,

"Joe, I don't expect the
government to solve my problems,

"but I expect them to
understand my problems"

Give me a fighting chance, no guarantees

A lot of people have not had
much of a fighting chance

and you're seeing that in this pandemic

Look at the people
carrying us on their backs

Those people making seven,
eight bucks an hour,

those people in the grocery
story stacking product,

those people driving the trucks,

those people who are out
there as nurse's aids,

those people who are
putting on garbage bags

because they didn't have
the protective equipment

I hope that the blinders
have been taken off here

The very people showing up to help you,

the very people who save your lives,

the very people who are working for ya

are people who in fact
are of all backgrounds,

all colors, and all interests

And so we gotta unite the country

Thank you

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