I Went To Philadelphia With No Clothes • The Empty Suitcase Show

published on July 2, 2020

(gasp)
(comedic gibberish)

(gasp)

– You have to buy this

– Usually all the shopping
is done on the shopping day,

and today, the shopping is not done

If we wanted to do that,
we'd have to drive to Jersey

(dramatic music)

It's every plus-size person's nightmare

You travel to a fabulous location,

but your suitcase gets lost along the way

Oh, just go and buy new clothes,

your thinner friends might say

Because they don't know that
if you're above a certain size,

your chances of finding clothes that fit

are small

Well, I'm about to turn the nightmare

into a dream come true

I'm gonna visit eight cities

with just the clothes I'm wearing

Then I'm gonna try and find a day look

and a night look to explore the city

Will I be too nude to leave the hotel?

Woo!

It's The Empty Suitcase Show

And we're about to find out

(upbeat music)

– I'm back

It's Devin on this
season of Empty Suitcase

I'm not here to make friends,

I'm here to start some drama

– Okay, so, we're just
gonna do some shopping

and just eat some meals

It's gonna be like chill

– Okay, cool

– We're on our way to Philly

– Philadelphia!

– And Devin is joining me again

– Yeah, I've never been to Philly before

– I was there once

I was six

I touched the Liberty Bell

I wasn't supposed to

– Did you crack the Liberty Bell?

(beep)

– All right, ready to go?

– Let's do this

Let's go

– For this season of Empty Suitcase,

I'm going to have a
variety of friends join me

Devin is joining me for this episode

Freddie will be here for the next two

And Jen is joining me for the last four

(upbeat music)

Here we go!

Two ladies in the city

Why do I not have a coat?

– Yep, once again, you
didn't put your jacket on

– One of these episodes, I'm gonna learn,

but it won't be this one

(upbeat music)

– Good morning
– Good morning

– We're staying at the Sonder Apartments

in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

which is like the coolest
Airbnb apartment situation

I've been in

– Yeah, and we got in last night,

but Devin hasn't seen mine yet

– Hmm mm

– So, we're gonna show it to her

(upbeat music)

– The sunlight on my crotche

I feel alive

– Devin's like what's in
this for me, selfie-wise?

(laughing)

(fun music)

Today, we are going to be shopping

We're gonna be buying some clothes

– Okay

– We've talked before about how difficult

plus-size shopping is

– It is
– In Seattle

Would you like to know how
difficult it is in Philadelphia?

– I love data

– So, we looked at four
major shopping centers

here in Philadelphia

And we counted all the
women's clothing stores

that are in them

Of which there are 226

Guess how many of them
offer a size 20 or above

on a regular basis

– Based off of what I
learned from Seattle,

I'm gonna say nine

– Actually, this one was a
little bit more optimistic

– Really?

– [Kristin] The number is 26

– Hey!

– That's negligible percentage

The thing is, half of those

came from the King of Prussia mall,

which is one of the biggest
malls in the United States,

of which there were 13 there

– So, if you don't live
anywhere near that one mall,

you're out of luck

– So, this isn't a precise
statistical analysis,

it's simply an anecdote to explain to you

why this sucks

Now, as I say in every
Empty Suitcase episode,

if I get much larger,
like around above a 24,

my options get much lower

So the fact that I can
make this show at all

is in fact a privilege

So, today, we are going
to visit a resale shop

here in Philadelphia, Curve Conscious

As of all resale shopping,
it's like a little bit scary

normally if you are a plus-size person

Obviously, this is a
resale shop that caters

to plus-sized people,

so hopefully it will be less scary

– One can only find out

Let's go

(upbeat music)

– We are here at Curve
Conscious in Philly

Here with the lovely Adrienne

– Hi

– So, tell me a little
bit about your store

– Curve Conscious is a plus-size
exclusive resale store

We only buy items that are trendy,

still in style, we don't do any vintage

And we've been open now
about three and a half years

And we won Best of Philly this year,

so super exciting

– Hey!

– Plus-size budget-friendly

– That's awesome

– [Adrienne] Thank you

– So today, we're gonna
be looking for two looks

– Okay

– We are looking for something

very fun and cozy in fall for the day

– Check
– I see

And then we are gonna
be looking for something

like cute and like chic for night time

– Okay, I think we can do this

– I see sweaters, I see sparkle

I'm excited

– All right, you ready to start shopping?

– Let's do it, let's do it, bye!

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

Kristin, I saw this outfit
with mustard yellow skirt

on the mannequin and the
sweater, and I like it

Do you like it?

– We actually thought the same thing

I just have to figure out whether or not

it's the right size

– Let's squeeze in here and see

We've got the sweater Forever 21 3X

– That's my lottery number

We also wanted to ask
about these overalls,

since apparently overalls are back

– H&M 22?

– Okay, so a regular 16

(laughing)

I'm glad that overalls are back

to complete the trifecta

of clothes that are difficult
to pee in that are also cool

– I almost wore a jumpsuit today

I had to change my mind

(laughing)

– Devin

It won't work for you

– I know, but it's still cute

– Also, this outfit is
really cute by the way

You're very lucky you're not a mannequin

(laughing)

Literally, the second I walked in

I was like this is for me

I feel like I was denied
my Wednesday Addams moment

in Seattle, so I'm coming back for her

– How do you feel about a sweater dress?

– I don't own any

– It's kind of a wrap sweater dress

– Ooh it's a pretty color

Plus if you spill wine on
it, it's not a big deal

Oh!

This is gonna be too big for me,

but it's fine

– Wow

– I'm still gonna try her on

This is a very Space Jam moment,

which is honestly every moment for me

– So, Kristin, I've brought you back here

to show you the thing that
I had my eye on for you

this entire time

– (gasp) what?

– Did you bring a black bra?

I'm seeing this with a
high-waisted black skirt

and a black bra underneath,
and just this buttoned

– So, I love you but it is
like 50 degrees outside

– Just try it

– Okay, well the thing is
is I've tried the weather,

I know what it feels like

– Says the girl who came
to Philly in a sundress

– Well, (stuttering)

– We're just gonna try it

– Wait, ooh, what are you?

So, I'm trying to find things

that I don't own anything that are like,

because my problem is I
own like 50 yellow dresses,

and like eight dresses
with cherries on them,

for some reason

– You don't have a camo or
like a olive green jacket?

– I don't wear things in olive green

– You look so good in olive green

– How do you know?

I've never worn anything in olive green

– You had that one thing
that Jazmin dressed you in

in olive green

I remember

– That was like two years ago

– Hello?

I have a good memory

Pants time

I've loved your evolution
and journey with pants

– My other long-time enemy Lane Bryant

is also going to make an
appearance right here

– These are cutie pie pants

– It's like, you know that fan fiction

where like the two people are enemies

and then they eventually become married

– Is that you and Lane Bryant?

– Yes
(laughing)

I don't own any joggers

– I love a good jogger

– For all the jogging I'm not doing

– You know

– Okay, we're now at my
longtime rival, jeans

So I'm looking and I see
these like Lane Bryant jeans

– Lane Bryant again

– I love a chambray

It's like denim, but
like has an office job

Also, I feel like this shirt

is a little bit too small for me

It's a beautiful pattern and
I could just wear it open

Not with a bra

– If you want to, I support you

– Okay

While we were looking
around at all the fun stuff,

Adrienne had a wonderful pick for me,

which is this beautiful jumpsuit

– I overheard you
talking about olive green

and this one immediately came to mind

And it's not yellow

(laughing)

– I'm usually not a big coat person

because I get very hot on my own

But I love this one

– [Devin] I love a peacoat moment

– I also think this might
be fun for night, too

– Drama

This is fake fur, though, right?

– Yes

– I feel like this is the coat

that you wear nothing underneath

and you show up to someone's
apartment and you're like, hi

– Okay, well I won't be doing that, but

– You can though

– A for effort, let's go try things on

– All right, let's do it

Show me that body girl

(gasp)

– Look at this real, genuine reaction

– Oh my God

I think this is my favorite
dress I've ever seen you in

– Really?

I felt like it was like a
little bit too tight on me

– No, it hugs you like a glove

You have to buy this

(laughing)

– How's it look from the back?

– [Devin] Delightful

– That was the reaction I was going for

It was just an excuse to show you my butt

– Ooh!

Let me see you walk away

– Okay

– Oh, oh, oh

– I just walked in a circle

(laughing)

(gasp)

It's your favorite skirt

– [Devin] I love the skirt

– Yeah, I didn't realize
it was gonna be so like

vloom on my body

For some reason, I was just like

oh this is gonna be like
a little a-line skirt

'Cause apparently I don't
understand geometry

I was like should I try this one on

and Mike was like mm hmm, mm hmm

Like the shirt doesn't really fit

but I feel like I could just
put something on underneath it

or I could tie it like this

and just, you know, go plunge out

– Yeah

– I know that look is your idea,

but we're gonna pretend like it was mine

– Okay, that's fine, this is your show

(laughing)

woo hoo hoo!

– This is my farmer look

It's a little bit Violet
Beauregard, but make it fashion

I kinda do look like a blueberry

(laughing)

I regret to inform you
that the Lane Bryant jeans

are very cute

– [Devin] This entire outfit is very cute

– The sweater we raided off the mannequin

The jeans I reluctantly put on my body

and they are cute, I'm sorry
to eat my little words

Nom nom nom, they're tasty

Hello

– [Devin] Oh my God, Wednesday Addams

– She's a witch and she
has no student loans

Only the first part is true

(laughing)

I'm like the velveteen rabbit

Widow edition

(laughing)

– It's gorgeous, this is
the eloquey dress, right?

– Yeah
– Look at her

– She's Victorian with an Instagram

(laughing)

I have to stop doing this

– Come on, girl!

– Okay

I'd like to introduce you to
a sketch I have for an outfit

It's not quite fully formed yet

– I love lingerie, that jacket on you

Holy cod

– Well, the bra is a place holder

It's not really a choice

I know you really want me to
wear like just full boobs out

in the middle of October in Philly

– It's the City of Brotherly Love

– It's brotherly love, not sisterly love

– Whatever

It's the new millennium

– So, I need to get
something very plungy here

– We've done more with less before, so

– This is true

All right, I'm gonna think on it

She's here, Rosie the Riveter's here

– Oh but better

I love you in olive green

You look so good

– We almost didn't pick this one

– Yep, this is the Curve Conscious pick

– I know

I was putting this on,
I was like I don't know,

and then as I was buttoning it up,

everyone here was like (angels singing)

conducting a choir of compliments

– How do you feel about this?

– I am not used to
wearing things like this

It's the waist is slightly low for me

but there is pockets

I do like that I can sit like this

– Yeah

– And be like, I brought a lunch pail

(laughing)

Hi, I have visions for how
to style the rest of it

I have thoughts, I have feelings

What I love most about this dress

is that it's ability to
hide a variety of mishaps

in the food department,
which we might need later

Plus, it's cozy

– Oh, is it another good dress
selection by yours truly?

– Okay, put your ego in your purse

(laughing)

– Joke's on you, I didn't bring my purse

Get ready, sister

– Okay, cut

– We went shopping

– We did it

We had such a great
time at Curve Conscious

Thank you so much

– And if you're in the Philly area,

come check outCurve Conscious

This place is incredible

– Yeah, it's so cute

– Thanks, guys
– Thank you

(upbeat music)

I just got back from buying shoes

and it was a hot frustrating nightmare

It took like an hour and a half

of just wandering back and
forth between the aisles

I think what a lot of people don't realize

is that my feet are also big

(laughing)

I got really tired before I
could finish putting together

my night look

So like, make it little bit easier on me

Our line producer suggested
that we buy some stuff online

and then just go pick it up in the store

But the problem with that is

here's the situation

I know we wanted to place an
order at the nearby Target

so that we could go pick it up,

but the problem is, is
that none of the Targets

have any plus size clothes
available for pick-up

at least in the Philly area

If we wanted to do that,
we'd have to drive to Jersey

– But this is a major city

– I kinda don't believe
that nthere aren't like

plus-size clothes

– It seems ludicrous

– It seems crazy

What I kinda wanna do is just
drive to the Target and see

I feel like if I go there
and there's nothing there

that confirms what I know from online,

which means that we
have to drive to Jersey

I mean, Jersey's not far

It's just across the Delaware

– It sounds far

– But it is kind of the
name of a different episode

(laughing)

All right, I'm gonna go check this out

(fun music)

– [Mike] How did it go?

– It is true, there are no
plus sizes in that store

There are however, the
plus-size mannequins

posed next to a sign that
says "Who? What? Where?

"Available online in sizes 1X to 4X"

– [Mike] I don't get it

– Well, I think the plus-size mannequins

are just wearing like XXLs or something,

but it's kinda like, come on

So I grabbed like these four tank tops

And of course, I didn't
try them on at the store

– [Mike] Oh

– So, I tried them on when I got home,

and they don't fit

The only other solution we have

is like that other thing
that I bought today

that wasn't supposed to
be like in this show

Through sheer coincidence,

it happens to match like
all of the accessories

and stuff that I bought for it

– Okay, I don't want you
driving all around tomorrow

The original vision was great

The fates were against you

And I think we did it

– Okay

– We'll go to Jersey in a
different episode, not this one

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

Good morning, Kristin

– Good morning

We were gonna go to a
fall festival on a farm,

but we just found out that it was canceled

because it's raining outside

– [Mike] No!

– So, we're having to pivot a little bit

to a surprise different day activity

– [Mike] Ooh

– She's indoors now

I'm gonna fix my hair

Mike walked in and was like your hair!

And I was like I'm not done yet

This is the magic and process Michael

– [Mike] Okay

(rock music)

– Because we had to do a quick pivot,

the fine folks at the
New Liberty Distillery

decided to host us last minute,

so thank you so very much

Kristin, show me your look!

– Hello!

Hi

– I'm so glad you went with the jumpsuit

It's incredible

I love the olive green on you

– [Kristin] This jacket and this jumpsuit

came from curve Conscious

as well as this purse

And then I got the shoes
from Nordstrom Rack

– And how hard was it for you

to put this outfit together yesterday?

– I mean, is this you just
kinda wanting to take credit

for being brilliant?

– Yes

– So, yesterday, I was like
I wanna do the jumpsuit,

but it's gonna be cold,

and Devin was just like wait a second,

I have an idea

And she brought over this coat

And then I was like,
I have a further idea

And then I picked up this bag

– So, what's our activity
while we're here

I know this is a distillery

– We're gonna be doing a whiskey tasting

Also, because this place
is bring your own food,

we're gonna have some Philly cheesesteaks

– I love that our first meal is gonna be

whiskey and a Philly cheesesteak

– Our afternoon activity will be a nap

– Let's do this

I want to drink

Our supervising producer brought us

some cheesesteak from Ishkabibble's

– Neither of us have ever
had cheesesteaks before

– Oh my gosh, I just tasted
the grease on the paper

and it's really good

(upbeat music)

If someone was like, hey Devin,

would you think this moist
sandwich is delicious?

I probably would have been like no

But now I'm tasting it

Wow

– Oh no, I dropped it in my water

It's fine, it's all
going to the same place

– Ew

– My stomach

Now that we are full of meat

– Feeling very cozy, let's
throw some liquor on top of it

– Hi, I'm Dani

– Hi, Dani

– I'm with New Liberty Distillery

and I'm going to be
feeding you whiskey today

– You're like a whiskey fairy

– I am

What you're gonna wanna
do is hold it by its stem,

put your nose over the
top, open your mouth,

and inhale through both
your nose and mouth

at the same time

Kinda like when a cat sees
something for the first time

– And they do that

Ooh I taste it

– Right, when you take your first sip,

pull that liquid toward
the front of your tongue

and let it slide off the
sides before you swallow

Yeah

(upbeat music)

– Look at these little legs

That's a wine term but
I'm still gonna use it

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

– Can I take this on the plane?

– Well, you have to buy it first

– Yeah

(laughing)

Next one, we're gonna–

– Oh God, I'm so behind

– No, you guys, take your time

– Do we have like an extra
glass, I can just like

come back to this in?

– There you go

– Thank you

I'm just gonna like, we're
just gonna keep that

– Why did you do that?

– Why did you do that?

(laughing)

I'll go get another glass

It's a single malt made
entirely out of malted barley

Tastes and smells just
like dark chocolate

It also tastes like hay, and grass,

and leather, and tobacco

It kinda tastes like
a barn, in a good way

(laughing)

– I'd like to dedicate this
sip to my Dutch boyfriend,

who tastes nothing like
dark chocolate, or hay

I really like all these 'cause
they taste so different

And also, they're very smooth

– Dani, thank you so much
for showing us so much

about the world of whiskey

– Thank you, guys

– Thank you

– Thank you, our whiskey fairy

(upbeat music)

– All right, it's time to get
ready for our night activity

I hope my new concept works

– [Mike] I'm sure you'll be lovely

– No, I already am

(laughing)

I'm a bat

(upbeat music)

– So, it's time for our
night activity in Philly

Come on out, Kristin

– Are you looking for me?

– You killed it

– Originally, I was gonna do this coat

and that Space Jam type
skirt with the maroon trim,

but we had a little debacle with the tops

So, I decided to pivot to this dress

The little Wednesday Addam number

I got just for myself, just
'cause I was like it's there,

now it's mine

So obviously this coat and this dress

are from Curve Conscious

This little bag is from Nordstrom Rack

as well as these little shoes

Then these earrings and
these clips are from Target

– I love this look so much

The jacket and the shoes
make me think like zati,

like let's go

– So, tonight we are going to Suraya,

which is a very buzzy Lebanese
restaurant here in Philly

– Let's go

(jazz music)

Cheers, Kristin

– Cheers!

– Thanks for having me on this trip

– I'm so glad to have you

It's always fun to hang
out with my friend

Ooh, there's like a little
bit of nutmeg in here

It gives you a certain tongued happiness

It's French for (beep)

(upbeat music)

– So, I already squished my pita

– I didn't squish mine
'cause I'm a good girl

A little dip

– Oh my God

That is incredible

– We just gave each other a
look like we were gonna kiss

but it was about the food

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

These taste like the Denny's sausages

and I mean that in the
most reverent way possible

(laughing)

So, normally I have
thoughts on cauliflower

I think it's basically the
styrofoam packing peanuts

of vegetables
– I agree

– It's like a tabula rasa for your mouth

It's not particularly interesting,

it's just kind of there

(laughing)

But this is like tender, the
way that a mother should be

Spicy, the way that a
conversation between two people

who really need to have it out should be

And there's cashews,
which are the ingredient

in my favorite kind of cheese

– Wow

This was the most erotic
description of cauliflower

– Are we gonna kiss again?

(laughing)

– I am full

We were gonna go out after this,

but I think it's bedtime

Thank you so much to everyone at Suraya

for having us tonight

This was delicious

– Yeah, it was delicious

And now I wanna go to bed

In my cozy little dress

– Oh Kristin, I've had a
marvelous time in Philly

– I know

It's been so fun

And we put together some cute outfits

We had some issues with
putting together the outfit

at the last minute

As well as our first day activity

Whoops

Thank God I just bought an extra outfit

– I love that you pushed yourself

outside your comfort zone
with the colors that you wore

and the jumpsuit

– I know

I'm really proud of me, too, thank you

– Yes

– Thank you so much to Curve
Conscious for having us

And also thank you to Sonder
and New Liberty Distillery

for hosting us

And thank you very much
to Suraya for having us

and letting us taste your
beautiful, wonderful menu

– I really can't thank
just the city enough

This has been amazing

– This is Devin's last Empty
Suitcase of this season

– It's why we're wearing sunglasses,

– 'Cause we're in mourning

– 'Cause we're in mourning for me

– It's been so fun
having you on this show

Freddie and Jen are gonna
be on the show as well

in the later episodes

– 'Kay, bye!

– Where are we gonna go next?

(fun music)

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