Black metal Christians don’t eat brains

by birtanpublished on July 2, 2020

As great as black metal is,

it will probably always be defined

by the church burnings, and the

and the murder, and the brain stew

of its viciously Satanic second wave in Norway

But don't worry –

there is Christian black metal

Black metal takes its name from

the Venom album 'Black Metal'

And along with other early bands

like Bathory and Celtic Frost

this very extreme subgenre

was thrash-y and dark and kind of Satanic

but not entirely serious

It was about as playful as songs like

"Necromantical Screams" could be

The Norwegians that really cranked that shit up

with the second wave of black metal

And then stopped kidding

Ever

About anything

– What is thethe primary idealogy

or primary ideas that

fuel

Gorgoroth's music?

Satan

-Basically, a bunch of dudes

lived in the woods

and then set fire to over 50 churches

And this guy, Dead, shot himself in the face

and then a guy named Euronymous found

his body and used his brain to make a stew and

bits of his skull to make lovely necklaces

And then a guy named Varg Vikernes

from a band called Burzum

killed Euronymous to prove that he,

Varg,

was the most evil

Somewhere in there they made some records,

starker and more extreme

than any metal that had come before it

They were not fucking around,

and some of them were actually pretty good

You can see how Christians would just be

itching to get a piece, right?

The same year that Varg Vikernes

went to jail for murder,

the first unblack metal album was released –

Horde's 'Hellig Usvart'

It led to death threats

and cries of a boycott from Satanic true believers,

but it was just the beginning

Antestor's 'The Return of the Black Death'

was a landmark Christian black metal album

it came out on the same label as less holy bands

like Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth,

Cacophonous Records

Now they claim that the label censored

references to Jesus and the Lord

throughout the album,

and in addition to that,

Euronymous, the skull necklace, brain stew guy,

plotted to kill them and said so in multiple interviews

Undaunted,

Bible-y musicians have continued to try to reconcile

their love for the Lord

with this very un-Lordy genre of music

Today, bands like Crimson Moonlight and Frosthardr

carry the simultaneous torches

for both Jesus and Burzum

Christian black metal musicians are

mocked by the actual metal community,

and misunderstood by their own

Christian community

And yet,

they soldier on

There's something weirdly Christian about it

But not metal

There's nothing metal about any of these bands

At all

Christians should be able to enjoy

all the same activities that us non-believers do

Things like voting,

movies,

ska music

But their instance on inserting themselves

into an overtly Satanic,

murderous, extreme metal subgenre?

Leave us something

Jesus

We've got links to music videos and a few

informative documentaries in the description

What do you think?

Can Christians play black metal?

Is black metal even still a thing in 2013?

Let us know in the comments

Hail Satan

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