Billie Eilish: Same Interview, The Third Year | Vanity Fair

published on July 2, 2020

– [Crew Member] Time capsule, one one

– Let's do this shit

Year three

Ya'll been asking for it, so here we are

My name is Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish

My name is Billie Eilish

I think it's October 18th, 2017

Its October 18th, 2018

October 18th, 2019

I'm 15

I'm 16

I'm 17

I have 257,000

I have 63 million

407 million

That's great

That's so

Can you, wow, that's crazy

113 million

96 million

152 million Google searches of me

Bing?

Who the fuck uses Bing?

[laughing]

It's a picture of me and Charlie XCX

Isn't it the one about me smiling?

That's a lot

10 million

That's my face

No, that makes me feel good though,

because sometimes the
most liked picture's like,

you with like, another celebrity
or you with somebody else,

but that's just me

That's shit's hard, come on

I'd say probably Khalid, which
is weird because he's like,

just a homie of mine

Oh, Hailey Bieber, Justin
Bieber, Young Thug, Avril Levigne

Ariana Grande, Kid Cudi, Ty
Dolla Sign, oh, Teyana Taylor

God, there's so many

But like Drake, come on

Drake?

Drake is like, the nicest
dude I've ever spoken to

I mean, I've only like,
texted him, but he's so nice

Like, he does not need to be
nice, you know what I mean?

He's at a level in his life where

he doesn't need to be
nice, but he is, you know?

Being Apple's Up Next Artist

Jeez

Jeez!

I did Ellen last week, Jimmy
Fallon, so many festivals

I met Takashi Murakami

I went to his studio

Dave Grohl's daughter
did a cover of my song

He played guitar for her
at a talent show, I think

There's been a lot of shit
that's happened in the last year

Ugh, my skin was so bad

Jesus

Look, I'm glowing now

Yes!

My skin got better

I was the season opener for SNL

I just sold out a headlining arena tour

Did Howard Stern, Rolling
Stone cover, Elle cover,

V cover, Billboard cover,
released the album,

had a number one single,
had a number two single

for like 16 weeks straight
or some shit, right

Biggest selling album of the year

I have Drake's phone number

[laughing]

The people that support me, my fans,

which I don't like to call fans,

my, you know, my family, you know

God, I was so annoying then

Finishing this album and
doing the most crazy shows

I'm capable of doing in the next month

I finished that album,
thank the Lords above

because I was about to jump off a building

to finish that fucking album

Oh, my God

Exhausting

Thank God I finished that shit

I can't

Honestly, sometimes I think about it

Sometimes I'm like, like me and Finneas

have had conversations where we're like,

can you believe we actually
finished the album?

I swear to God, we thought we
would never finish that shit

Ever

I love that album

Probably like a fucking 10, dude

I love it

Fuck it

Oh wait, it's great, sorry, A

I never went to school,
I never got grades

Sorry

A plus is what I meant

The most important
thing right now, though,

probably would be
maintaining my happiness,

which I've been experiencing
for like, the first time

in many years lately,
which is really cool

And not that my fans aren't like,

also the other most
important thing in the world

And doing shows is also
really important to me

and doing crazy shows especially,
but I want to stay happy

That's a big goal for me

I don't know if I'm more confident,

I just think I know what I'm doing more

I think I'm less confident, actually

True I was less confident, for sure

I was definitely not
as confident last year

as I was before that, but I
am for sure a billion times

more confident than both of those years

I feel like I'm probably
the most confident

I've ever been in my life

I guess

I don't know how the fuck, I
don't know how it happened,

but I guess I am

I am definitely successful

I was thinking about
that like, earlier today

Because of this interview, I was like

Back then I thought it was like,

the biggest I was ever gonna
be and I thought, you know,

it was the most I was
ever gonna be recognized

and it was the most anyone's gonna know me

and it was the most
money that I would have,

the most clothes I'd have,
the most shoes that I'd have

And what's crazy, it wasn't

Success is not how well people know you

It's how you're like, looked at

I genuinely did not
think people would care

I like, can't even stress it enough

I can't believe people
care so much about me

It's crazy to me

I might be safe if I go to Trader Joe's

Nope!

Not safe

I tried it

I went to Trader Joe's

Did not work

Nope, did not work

Tried it!

I also tried Costco, which
I thought I'd be safe at

and that didn't work

Fuck's sake

The reason it was like,
affecting me so much last year

was because all I wanted to do was go out

I don't even think
about going out anymore

I like this life that I have

I like being famous

It's very weird, but it's very cool

And I can, I feel like I can say that now

because I used to hate it

I hated doing press and
I hated being recognized

and I hated kind of everything
that had to do with it

There's a lot in fame that's fucking gross

and horrible and just miserable,

but I'm very grateful for
it and it's really rare

and it's really, I'm very lucky,

so I'm so done with complaining about it

I complained about it for so long

Probably that stupid Cheeto head man

November 6th, there's an election soon

I really hope everyone votes
so the world doesn't end

There's an impeachment going on

Honestly, the news is
so bad, I can't even

Oh yeah, Beyonce had some
twins and she still looks fly

Kehlani's pregnant

Greta Thunberg, honestly

She's been fucking kicking people's ass

Esketit

That can die, okay

Esketit is supposed to
be like, let's get it

but like, esketit is so annoying

Stop

Oh, that's stupid Snapchat
filter that's like,

[making filter tone]

I'm kinda over the whole
like, Juuling shit

That shit is so ugly

Like, smoking looks cooler than Juuling

Don't, like don't smoke
but you know, like

[laughing]

People think I'm pregnant

A lot of people thought I
was pregnant for a second

They did think I was pregnant

There was like, a story
on Snapchat the other day

I was like, wait, did
Billie Eilish have a baby?

It's like, what?

Biggest rumor though now,
that I sold my soul to Satan

No, I don't have a boyfriend

I can't, I could not have a boyfriend

That would just be mean to him

I don't know, I almost had
one for like, a little,

but it wasn't really exclusive,

so I don't know what you call that

I hate things that are exclusive

Never

That's so funny

I don't have a boyfriend, ha, ha, ha!

I actually did then, but I don't now

I still am on good terms with everybody

And I still have so much love for like,

the person that I was with then and,

but I am single and I'd
rather turn eight-tingle

[laughing]

For the first time in my
life I don't feel the need

to be with anyone

For the first time in my life

I don't have my eyes on
anyone, I'm not in the mood,

I don't have enough
stamina for it right now

and I'm totally fine with that

So who knows

I'm open to it

I think the month of
May, probably mid-May,

I was in a horrible place mentally

So

When a friend of mine died
in June, it was pretty bad

In January, I had a meeting
showing me the schedule

for the whole year and I sat
there and was totally silent

and totally still and just tears like,

just streamed down my face

I went to my garage and I just cried

It just was very overwhelming

and I was in a really bad place

So

I don't want to take it for granted

I don't want to take it for granted

I catch myself

True

Even some things I've said
today, I catch myself

What am I doing?

What am I saying?

What? 40,000 people?

What?

Are you ever conscious
that you're doing something

that you don't want to
be doing but you just,

you're just doing it?

It was like that because I
was taking it for granted

and I, that makes me really
mad and I don't want to be

and I just was

I don't know, I worked
really hard on not doing that

as I said in that, and I've kind of

held my ground a little bit

I think I've like, kind of accomplished

not taking it for granted

I've been really grateful for everything

and really aware lately
and I just was realizing

that I was giving too much of
myself to other people's lives

and to other people's
situations and I was like,

you know what, I need this
attention on me right now

So yeah

Fruitvale Station

Fruitvale Station

Fruitvale Station

The storyline is so heartbreaking, dude

That shit grabs you
and pulls you and, ugh

No, this, I can't afford a real chain

They are real

My chains were gifts

I did not buy anything that I'm wearing

I stopped wearing real jewelry,
like real diamonds and stuff

because A, I'm a break that shit

B, I'm a lose that shit

C, I got other shit to buy

You know what I mean?

I like bright green a lot

I like black

It's been pretty dark lately,

so I've just wanted to be dark with it

Black is like the only time I can go

through the airport and be fine

That's cool

Because the airport is normally like,

basically being at a meet and greet,

but if I'm wearing a black
beanie and a black shirt

and some black pants and
black shoes, I'm pretty good

Kind of like them all

Like, I'm not opposed to anything

Anything

Nah

Yep Yeah

I feel that there is pressure on me,

but I don't feel the pressure

You know what I mean?

I feel it less now that
it's bigger, in a way

It's like performing in
front of 80,000 people

is way easier than performing
in front of eight people

I don't know why

I kind of would say that
the no respect element

of the getting recognized

I want a hug

I want to talk to somebody
and hear how their day went

I don't want a camera shoved in my face

Mm-hmm

It's gotten much worse since then

Excitement makes you be
kind of stupid sometimes

I did this show last
week where I went down

into the crowd and I just
did this to all the hands

and somebody grabbed my
hand and yanked me so hard

And I had two security guards,
two of my security guards

with my hand in one hand
and, or my arm in one hand

and their arm in one hand
literally going like this

to try to pull me away and
it took a minute to do it

I'm like, bending over and I was also

singing Ocean Eyes at the same time

I was like, like, and I, and
then when they finally let go,

I like fell on top of this fucking thing

and then somebody stole my ring

Somebody grabbed my hand
and pulled my ring off,

stole it, whatever

I expect that

And then I leaned back into
this one area of all these fans

and this one girl just went to me

And I, at first I was like,
she probably didn't mean to

because she kinda went like this

They're only trying to
be loving and sometimes

it just comes off wrong

That's it

Don't post everything you think

I should give it to myself then too

[laughing]

But I do it now, I don't anymore, yay

That's what I was just saying

Sometimes it's better to
just shut the fuck up

I would tell 16-year-old me to remember

who her best friends are
and remember who the people

that care about her the most
are and not throw them away

for somebody else or for something else

I really hope that I'm not an asshole

because I'm really afraid that I will be

and I really don't want to be

You better not be an asshole
or I'll whip your ass

I don't know if I'm an asshole

Am I?

Gosh, she's, God

See, I didn't, oh my God

I was so bubbly and why?

What was funny is I wasn't
actually in real life

I just was new to interviews
and I thought I had to be

all like bubbly and cute in interviews

When I watched that when the
other one came out last year,

I was like, I like didn't
know I could swear

I was saying like frickin'

What the heck?

What the heck?

Laryngitis as heck

Tiring as heck

Am I an asshole?

I don't think I'm an asshole

Maybe, I don't know

I performed for a bunch
of Jared Leto's friends

and Jared Leto in his house

I performed for Leonardo
DiCaprio in Jared's big,

huge living room

Bieber watched my Coachella set

That's crazy

Mel C, Sporty Spice came to my show

Avril Lavigne came to my show

Thom Yorke came to my show

Dave Grohl is coming to my show

Billie Joe Armstrong came to my show

Julia Roberts is coming to my show

Leonardo DiCaprio watched
my SNL show by a backstage

I don't even know why he was there

Chris Rock

Well, I didn't know for those last couple

that they were even there

Bieber, I was thinking
about that the whole time

Bieber and Hailey were
both watching me and I,

luckily I didn't see them
because if I had seen them I

would've lost my shit

Whoa

Little Wayne

Oh, and perform with Little Wayne?

That's a great answer

Myself

I'm tired of other people

Doing shows with other
people is really stressful

Brockhampton

Tierra Whack is sick

My favorite artist is Tekno

There isn't one song that I
don't like that he puts out

Every single song that
that man puts out, I love

Shouldn't that count as
your favorite artist,

is that artist that puts out
music that you only like?

You know what I mean?

Having the approach that no one's had,

trying to write something
no one's written

So stupid

I remember that

Try to write something
no one's ever heard?

God, what an idiot

See, that's why I'm still bad at it

because that's what I was trying to do

Fuck!

[laughing]

It's true

That's so funny

Yup She's right

Yeah, I still, I'm bad at it

Honestly, I don't know because I kind of

have no idea what to expect

Like, I thought I knew like, last year

I thought I knew what the,
what people would like

for my album and I thought I knew like,

what would be popular and I was so wrong

Bad Guy is like, the biggest
fucking thing ever now,

which is so weird

I did not think anyone
would like that one

So I have no clue

I almost have a feeling that
the one that I would say

is my favorite like, one right now,

people might not even like
it, so I have no idea

The music industry, man

We're all sad as hell

All these artists,
we're sad as shit, dude

Everybody I know that's an artist,

we are sad mother fuckers

So annoying

Somebody got that tattooed

That quote tattooed!

I don't think it's fair
to say that we're all sad

because I don't think that's true

I was just 16 and friends with
a bunch of other, you know,

young people that were kind of
going through the same stuff,

like having this crazy spotlight on them

and they were fucking sad too

And that's why I think I
thought that, but I hadn't,

I didn't, I hadn't experienced it

I think it's a beautiful
thing to get to do

I think it's really difficult and I think

that's what people don't realize

and that's why I wanted to say that then

Yeah, it was terrifying

And it's like, it still
is, but I enjoy it and I

I don't know, I enjoy it

Oh, I just want to do everything

I want to create what I want to create

when I want to create it

It's gonna change no matter what

Same shit Whatever I want

I'm not gonna tell myself
to do something different

next year, I'm gonna just
do what I want next year

That's what I'm doing this year

That I dress and look really
different than my music,

which is true for all the
old music I have or like,

the stuff I put out like years ago

But you got to remember I was
13 when Ocean Eyes came out

and then I was 14 when I
wrote like, all the rest,

and then I was 15 when I
wrote Don't Smile at Me

with my brother when we put that out

Now I'm 16 and all year,
I've just been making music

that's gonna come out when I'm 17

And then when I'm 17,
I'll probably be like,

yeah, this isn't me now,
but it was me when I was 16

And then I'll make music when I'm 17,

and then when I'm 18, I'll
be like, this isn't me now

[laughing]

A genius

Oh my God, hell yeah

Damn Articulate

She stated it perfectly, dude

She put it better than
I could have put it

I mean it, the thing is
that the ones that annoy me

are the ones that are pretty true

Like, my voice is really soft
and it's not belty and shit

And that people think that,
oh, I whisper in all my songs

And like, I do in a couple
songs, but I feel like

people just say that
about when they've heard

one fucking song

Like, listen to Wish You Were Gay

That bitch a belting

And like, my belt is not even
close to a fucking Adele belt

Adele is like a literal God,
but it's just different

Like, you don't have to be
shouting to be good at singing

My brother is my best friend

My brother is my best friend

My best friend is Finneas,
but he is also my brother

Instagram

Probably Instagram

Instagram been hurting my feelings lately

I really see everything,
but that's the problem

is that I see everything

so then I see everything
I don't want to see

And you know, it's just this
fucking thing in my brain

So lately I don't like looking at it

A fan brought me a notebook
filled with huge like,

letters from my fans to me,
all from different people

and it's like tons of pages

It's incredible

People throw a lot of
things at me on stage

I've been thrown, you
know, bras, avocados

A girl gave me this huge like,
stuffed Blohsh that she made

with this like, velvet
material and I have been

sleeping with it for a week now

So embarrassing

I wasn't gonna tell anyone that

[laughing]

It's really cozy though

But the other day I was
lying in bed thinking like,

what if she put a camera in this thing?

It's really hard to talk about my life

and have it not sound like I'm bragging

[laughing]

I said that today, too

My nose is so cute in that

Sorry, I just, look at that nose

Like a little button

Sometimes I'll catch myself
in a conversation with someone

acting like I'm in an
interview, and in interviews

you're trained to talk about yourself

and not ask the other
person about themselves

And so I'll catch myself in
conversations where I'm like,

shit, like I'm not being interviewed,

I'm acting like I'm being interviewed

instead of acting like I'm
talking to a human being

And I think some artists and celebrities

haven't even learned that
and still just do that

And people I love do that,
that I've met where they just,

they're trained to talk
like they're in an interview

and that's normal but it's like we forget

that we're not though

Yeah, the first year I was like,

you better know how to drive, right

And didn't I say, oh no,
I saw this part recently

It was like, you better know how to drive

because I've been putting off drivers ed

because that stuff stinks

I hate that stuff
I hate that stuff

Ew! That stuff stinks

Why didn't I say that shit sucks?

Like I could've said that fucking sucks!

That stuff stinks

Oh my God, it's so cringey, jeez

Hey Billy, a year ago
you have your dream car

Can you believe it?

No, you can't

But you can though
because it's your car now

It was a Dodge Challenger, matte black

Actually, literally two months
from today is my birthday

So two months after that
day, I got my dream car

and I cried for about three hours

You better have a Lamborghini

[laughing]

The mom moment typically is

This is my mom

She is sick as a booty

– I don't mind

I can stay here that long

I love you

– I love you, too

– Next year, I hope
you're very, very happy

and that your happiness you
have this year continues

and only grows

And you have everything you want in life,

and you help change the
world for the better

– Mom's definitely gonna
help change the world though,

more than I am

[crew applauding]

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