Billie Eilish: Same Interview, One Year Apart | Vanity Fair

published on July 2, 2020

my name is Billy Eilish Billy Eilish

I think it's October 18th 2017 its

October eighteenth two thousand eighteen

I'm 15 I'm 16 I have 257,000 I have 63

million followers 11 3 million nine

point six million when you look up Billy

Eilish it's a picture of me and Charli

XCX it's not the one about me smiling

course it is the one picture that I have

smiling the most followed person that

follows me he's Chloe grace Moretz who's

the best she has 13 million followers

Katy Perry maybe she is 72 million I'd

say probably Khalid which is weird cuz

he's like just a homie of mine and like

I don't think women's anything else

scissor I have Millie Bobeck Brown

Sabrina Claudia that baby you're in her

regular Osiris Whaley which the kids and


a girl baby red Miguel are you kidding

me these are people that I've texted it

was at the crocodile in Seattle and it

was like five hundred I think

that's what I said whoa that's so cute

who that was ah the best one I've had

was music Midtown in Atlanta 40,000

people it's such a dream oh my god such

a dream every time I go anywhere hands

down I might be safe if I go to Trader

Joe's but everywhere else is kind of you

recognized which is actually really cool

but it you know it's a lot kind of a lot


but like not a ton it's kind of like

maybe like once a week um I'm kind of

jealous of Billy a year ago because I

kind of I don't know I'm really not

about that pity myself for

people recognizing Who I am which is

because it's like I'm really grateful

for it but I don't know I would like to

go to I don't know anywhere and not be

always recognized whoa oh don't be so

sad it's such a waste of time ah I

didn't I didn't live up to that then and

I still haven't lived up to that so it's

good advice though it is a waste of time


ah it's ruined so many things that could

have been amazing because I was sad dumb

but whatever don't post everything you


don't just if you're watching this right

now anybody if anybody is watching this

don't post your feelings don't do it to



whoa Tyler the Creator no I would love

to me uh I'm not many oh my god I would

explode if I met him I met him I met him

and it was great for me he hits a he

hits a part of me that nobody gets being

apples up next artist I was such a baby

I did Ellen last week Jimmy Fallon


so many festivals I went to Tokyo I met

Takashi Murakami I went to his studio

Dave girl's daughter did a cover of my

song he played guitar for her in a

talent show I think or something there's

been a lot of that's happened in

the last year my family I'm I'm always

talking to my family always every second

in my life Fruitvale station a fruit

Vale station no you know what no this I

can't afford a real change they are real

now they are real but it's all silver oh

yeah my chains were gifts I did not buy

anything that I'm wearing at all none of

it I bought this though

ah yes yeah yep

yeah it's the kind of pressure that's

like it hits me and then I don't care

everybody dropped dead right now and I

didn't I would be left with what I had

created for myself and what the hell

would the point be if I was just

creating something that somebody else

wanted me to create that I had no say in

and then that person died and everybody

else died and nobody mattered except me

I'm stuck with this I didn't want

the first place that's a trash no I'm

handling the pressure horribly but I

just keep it to myself all the time

except my wall I write everything I felt

my walls I'd be gone my room my wall


just ya know I don't like dating at all

I don't like the idea of oh this is my

one person and I only share the time

with this person no no no no thank you

no I don't have a boyfriend I can't I

could not have a boyfriend that would

just be mean to him I don't know I

almost had one for like a little but it

wasn't really exclusive so I don't know

what you call that I hate things that

are exclusive letting myself be

mistreated for a long long long long

time I had no idea what the was

coming not really uh yeah I was really

mistreated treated and then I just

realized I was better than that and

since then I just I feel like I've just

grown to know my worth I think it's

taken a minute and I don't think I'm

there yet but I'm getting there Oh Billy

was so hurt then I was so hurt then man

I want to learn that it's all worth

it because it's tiring as heck and

it is worth it and I have to remember

that because being with like fans are

doing shows is way more important than

being tired is it worth it yes the shows

make it worth it the shows and the

supporters that is something you have to

remember when it it doesn't feel worth

it because a lot of it doesn't feel

worth it

but then you get to the points that do

make it worth it and it's like then it

all sort of makes sense and it kind of

clicks in your head no matter what you

do there's you can never ever ever

please anyone ever ever ever that's

still true never not true

any picture that is taken of you if a

picture is taken of you somebody has it

and somebody will use it against you I

wasn't allowed to but I ran away from

security and I ran into a huge crowd

I like slammed open a door into all of

them through a glass window and hugged

them all

I almost caused a stampede by sneaking

through a crowd at Lollapalooza I almost

died and everyone else almost died

crazy whoa Lil Wayne I ought to

perform with Lil Wayne that's a great


Wow 15-year old me was ballin I really

want to go to Japan again I went to

Japan a while ago and it was the most

amazing time so I feel like Brazil might

be crazy literally my first fan account

was like or like second Finnick I was

like Billie Islands Brazil Brockhampton

tierra wack is sick I like bright green

a lot I don't like black it's been

pretty dark lately so I've just wanted

to be dark with it the world I mean I


don't and then one word no


judge me please that's what I said

I still feel that way totally still feel

that way but this year I guess I just

don't you know I don't know what

is going on I feel this and that I

feel like everything needs to have a

certain this is in this category and

this isn't us like it's like I want to

be everything like shut up don't tell me

what I can't be the hell

the music industry man we're all sad as

hell all these artists we're sad as

dude everybody I know that's an artist

we are sad mother it's the way

it is no what does that even mean what

does that mean everyone is gonna die and

no one is gonna remember you so in

with this bitch then that's my fault

filosophy having the approach that no

one's had trying to write something no

one's written I don't know if that's the

best approach because you might just

fail and then want to die like I have to

write someone write something no one's

ever heard see that's why I'm still bad

at it yes that's what I was trying to do

whoo you better know how to drive

because I've been putting enough drivers

in it because that stuff stinks I hate

that stuff I do know how to drive shorty

well that is crazy

this is my mom she is sick as a booty

and she has laryngitis



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